


Enough to Feel Your Breath on Mine

by Seravia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Magic Revealed, Pining, Reincarnation, Role Reversal, Time Travel, paperlegends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:18:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 39,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seravia/pseuds/Seravia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur wake up in the middle of a board meeting in the twenty-first century when they were in Camelot just moments before.  Now they’re lost in a world they don’t understand, where Merlin is the son of the company owner and Arthur is the employee. Merlin’s lost his magic, Arthur doesn’t know how to not be a king, but somehow the world keeps turning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough to Feel Your Breath on Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Time travel from canon to modern day and back. Takes place mid season 4. 
> 
> This was my first big bang, and it was such a fantastic experience. Thank you so much to **whimsycatcher** for her amazing art (they're all so perfect I can't even describe how much I love them) and for putting up with me despite how slowly my writing was coming along. 
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to **osky291** for being such a fantastic beta, getting back to me quickly, and bearing with me through my sporadic responses, not to mention being willing to do a last minute beta the night before my posting date when I was freaking out over finishing on time. 
> 
> Thank you to **wanderlust48** for being a great cheerleader and being excited about my work, which in turn made me feel better about how it was all coming along.
> 
> A bunch more thank yous to: **crownandchief** for beta'ing parts of the fic and **messyangel81** and **analise010** for helping me out at the beginning while I had plot points to work through. Not to mention thank you to everyone in RL who listened to me rant about this whenever I got stressed out over how the story was going to work out.
> 
> And finally, thank you to **the_muppet** for all her work in putting this together and making it a such a success.

“Arthur!” Merlin shouted, dashing forward to push Arthur out of the way of a falling chandelier.

Arthur’s head snapped up. He barely had time to take in the sight of Merlin leaping at him before he found himself shoved to the ground, Merlin landing on top of him, and the loud crash of something heavy hitting the ground by his feet.

Then nothing.

\--

_Fifteen hundred years in the future…_

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted, leaping forward to shove Merlin out of the way of a falling ceiling light.

Merlin glanced up in surprise, mouth opening around the name “Arthur” as he was pushed to the ground, Arthur bouncing slightly as he landed on top of him, the sound of shattering glass echoing around them.

Then nothing.

\--

Merlin opened his eyes again and suddenly he wasn’t staring at Camelot’s flagstones anymore. Directly on top of him, he found a shocked Arthur staring back at him, and he immediately dropped his gaze. He looked around, finding a room full of people sitting around a wooden table, all their gazes trained on him. Where he was lying on the floor. Merlin opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no sound came out.

Merlin began to panic as the eyes in the room went from expectant to puzzled to derisive. Then his eyes widened in shock as he took in what he was wearing.

What was that fabric? It was all heavy and stiff and gray.

Before Merlin could make more of a fool of himself by blurting out the first thing that came to mind, a woman rushed in and yanked him to his feet and out the door, dumping Arthur on the floor, and making hurried apologies as they left. Merlin found himself shoved into a room lined with windows. Immediately, Merlin darted to the glass and gazed around in awe. There were big, tall, imposing rectangular houses that could touch the sky. And he was so high up! All the people and carts looked so tiny on the ground!

 

He didn’t realize the woman was speaking to him until she snapped her fingers in front of his nose. Merlin jumped back and nearly tripped over his own feet. He looked at the woman in surprise.

Then he really did fall over, feeling as if the breath had been knocked out of him. “Freya?”

The woman - Freya! - quirked an eyebrow at Merlin. "Yes?"

"You... how... what?" Merlin sputtered.

"Would you like to be a bit more specific, Merlin?" Freya asked, sending him a disapproving look. "What happened in there?" she asked more gently. "That was an important meeting. Are you feeling all right?" Freya offered Merlin a hand up.

Merlin stared at her hand as if he'd never seen it's like before, not daring to reach out and touch, for fear that it would disappear.

"Merlin?" Merlin's eyes snapped up to meet hers. Freya looked concerned now, crouching down to Merlin's level. "Do you need help, Merlin?"

"N-no," Merlin responded shakily. "Where am I?"

Freya sent Merlin a puzzled frown. "You're in your office, Merlin. You were just in a board meeting. Have you hit your head that hard?" Freya reached out to feel around the back of Merlin's head. Merlin felt his breath catch in his throat. His eyelids fluttered shut as he reveled in feeling Freya's touch again.

At that moment, the door flew open.

"Mer - oh."

At the sound of that voice, Merlin leapt to his feet, swinging around to meet Arthur's confused gaze. "Arthur!"

"Merlin," Arthur replied, sounding distant.

"Arthur," Freya chimed in, tone disapproving. "Why aren't you at your desk?"

Merlin saw Arthur visibly bristle at being addressed without deference. Merlin quickly came to the rescue - to Arthur's or Freya's rescue, Merlin wasn't entirely certain - by saying, "I wanted to speak with him!"

"Oh," Freya said, face relaxing into a small smile. "I'll leave you boys to it then," she said, shooting Merlin a wink on her way out.

The moment Freya was out the door, Arthur crowded into Merlin's space, looming over him and demanding, "What the hell is going on, Merlin?"

Merlin, still reeling from the fact that he was seeing Freya in the flesh again, couldn’t find his voice and kept staring at the closed door where he’d seen Freya last.

“Merlin!” Arthur snapped, shaking Merlin’s shoulder.

“What?” Merlin said, startled from his reverie. He turned wide, confused eyes on Arthur. Arthur’s shoulders slumped, eyes softening at Merlin’s expression.

“What happened?” Arthur asked, less sharply this time. “The last thing I remember, I was about to speak to my council when you shoved me to the floor. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, I was on top of you on the ground and you were gaping like a fish at the people in that room.”

“I – ” Merlin began and faltered. “I don’t know. I was trying to push you out of the way of that chandelier before I found myself here. Where is here?”

Arthur groaned and sank into the leather chair behind the desk, covering his face with a hand. “I was hoping you’d tell me you fed me some magical mushrooms or something ridiculous like that.”

“You hate mushrooms, sire,” Merlin shot back.

Arthur glared through his fingers. “Shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, but didn’t speak, choosing instead to sit across from Arthur in a squishy blue chair, peering around the room curiously.

“I knew I should’ve gotten that chandelier fixed,” Arthur sighed.

Merlin smiled weakly.

A knock came at the door.

“Enter,” Arthur called automatically.

Freya poked her head in, a frown on her face. “Arthur, you know you’re not supposed to be in Merlin’s chair,” she chided.

Arthur sat up so quickly he nearly slid off the seat. _‘Merlin’s chair?’_

“I wish you would set some boundaries, Merlin. This is your office, after all.”

Merlin stared at Freya uncomprehendingly.

Freya sighed and rolled her eyes, unable to stop the corners of her lips from turning up slightly at Merlin’s blatant disregard for the rules. “Anyway. I was coming to tell you that your father wants to see you.”

Arthur jumped up, but faltered when he noticed that Freya had directed her statement at Merlin.

Merlin continued to stare at Freya, still unable to speak.

Freya’s look of exasperation quickly melted into concern. She waved a hand in front of Merlin’s face. “Merlin? Are you sure you’re all right? Do you need to leave early? I can make your excuses to your father.”

At that, Merlin finally came alive. “M-My father?” he stammered.

“I really think you should take the afternoon off,” Freya decided. “You must have really hit your head. I’ll call around the car.” Before leaving, Freya turned to Arthur and said, “You should get back to your desk, Arthur. I know a stack of paperwork was just delivered to you.”

“No!” Merlin exclaimed, suddenly terrified of letting Arthur out of his sight. “He can… he can come with me!”

Freya shot Merlin a fond look and said, “Oh, all right. You two practically live in each other’s laps anyway.” She made a shooing motion and gave Arthur a pointed look until he got up and took Merlin’s arm, leading him out the door.

Arthur paused when he exited the office. He looked at Merlin helplessly, completely at a loss for where to go. Merlin stared back equally blankly.

Freya stepped into their field of vision, worry clear in her gaze.

“Are you boys all right?” she asked softly.

Arthur gave a sharp nod, but the lost look in his eye didn’t fade.

Freya reached out and took Arthur’s arm. “Come on,” she said gently. “I’ll take you both home.” Arthur and Merlin nodded mutely and followed her through the maze of cubicles, stepped into a moving box, and emerged out on the street.

A man who was waiting outside a parked car waved cheerily at Merlin and Arthur. “Freya tells me you aren’t feeling well, Merlin. What’s up?”

“I-I-I-” Merlin stammered, having no idea what to say.

Freya answered for Merlin, shooting him increasingly concerned looks. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with him, but I think he’s hit his head. I’ll go with them back to their flat.”

The man nodded and Freya shooed Merlin and Arthur into the car. Merlin slid in and sat down gingerly, not sure why he was getting into this strange contraption, but afraid to voice his uncertainty. Arthur was equally befuddled as he slid in beside Merlin and pressed their legs together, both of them relaxing a bit at the contact, at the knowledge that despite the unfamiliar world around them, there was still someone who thought this was just as crazy as they did.

“Straight home then?” the man asked.

Freya slid in and shot a sideways glance at Merlin and Arthur. She nodded. “Yes. Definitely straight home.”

The man in the front of the car - That was what Freya had called it, right? – gave a thumbs up and suddenly the big black contraption they were sitting in started whirring loudly and vibrating slightly. Merlin jumped in fright, hitting his head on the top of the car, digging his nails into Arthur’s arm, making Arthur hiss and claw at Merlin’s hands to get him off.

Freya leaned over and gently pried Merlin’s fingers off Arthur’s arm, squeezing his hand briefly before letting go. “What’s up with you today?”

“Nothing,” Merlin squeaked.

They proceeded to sit in silence until the car stopped in front of a tall, fancy looking building. The man in front came around to open Freya’s door. She stepped out, then poked her head back in when Merlin and Arthur didn’t move.

“Are you two coming?”

Merlin quickly nodded and tried to scramble to the door despite the fact that Arthur was in the way. Arthur gave a grunt as Merlin practically kneed him in the crotch, and shoved him away. He smoothly slid out of the car, shooting Merlin a scathing look. Merlin hastily scrambled out of the car, tripping over the curb, just avoiding hitting the ground because Freya reached out and caught him.

“Careful,” Freya chided, keeping her hand on his arm as she tugged him toward what looked to be several sheets of glass spinning. When Freya didn’t stop as they neared the glass death trap, Merlin dug in his heels, sputtering, “I-I don’t want to go in that!”

Freya gave Merlin an exasperated look. “Merlin,” she said with exaggerated patience. “You chose to live here. I don’t care how much you dislike revolving doors, I’m not letting you wander off to smack into a wall or something. Come on. It’s not going to eat you, I promise.”

With much reluctance, Merlin allowed Freya to drag him between two sheets of glass. He stuck close to her as they walked and breathed a sigh of relief when the revolving door was behind him. He looked back to check on Arthur, but was startled to find him right behind them, looking completely unfazed, suppressed amusement in his eyes, at Merlin’s antics Merlin was sure. Before he got a chance to mutter “prat” at Arthur, Freya was tugging him along again, this time into what looked to be another death trap that was some kind of box with a light and loads of buttons much like the one they were in from the other building. Instead of resisting, Merlin thought better and meekly followed Freya in, trusting that she wouldn’t take him anywhere that would actually eat him.

When the metal box stopped, Merlin found himself staring at a brightly lit hallway with doors lining each side. There was some plush, fur-like material lining the ground beneath his feet, and Merlin had to be dragged into a room Freya had just opened the door to.

Merlin froze upon stepping through the door, staring around at the well-furnished surroundings in awe. Arthur, however, had no such qualms, and sauntered right in, plopping himself down on a couch. He bounced a little, a curious look in his eye as he felt the material sink beneath him in a way that the chairs in Camelot never did.

Freya tugged Merlin to the couch beside Arthur, and pushed him firmly on to the seat.

"I'll go make you boys some tea. Do you need anything else? Some paracetamol perhaps?”

Merlin could only shake his head, staring at Freya with wide eyes, hoping he looked well.

Instead of looking placated, Freya only seemed more alarmed. She reached out and put her hand to Merlin's forehead again. "Are you sure you don't need medicine? It's unlike you to be this quiet. The only time you're this complacent is when you're dead on your feet." She glanced over at Arthur. "On the bright side, Arthur seems to look a lot better. Maybe it was the stale air in the office?" She swept away and headed toward what Merlin assumed was the kitchen. Moments later, she returned with two steaming cups, putting one in front of Merlin and the other in front of Arthur.

"Drink up," she ordered. "It's the special herbal tea Gaius makes." She studied Merlin carefully for a few moments before shaking her head ruefully. "Is it really that hard to take care of yourself, Merlin?"

"No?" Merlin tried.

Freya gave a small laugh. "Well, I’ll go knock on Gaius’ door and have him take a look at you. Then I've got to get back to work. Someone's got to do your work while you're not there, right?" She winked at Merlin. Merlin immediately felt guilty for foisting his work off on someone else. Freya handed Merlin a small black box and said, "Here's the TV remote. I'm sure you can entertain yourselves. Do you want a laptop too?" Without waiting for an answer, Freya hurried to the desk on the other side of the room and returned with a slimmer box. She set it down on the low table in front of them and gave a short nod. "That should be enough for you guys, right?"

Freya ruffled his hair a bit as she walked past toward the door, calling over her shoulder, “See you on Monday! Cheers!”

Merlin and Arthur sat in silence staring at the things Freya set down in front of them after the door closed.

Finally, Merlin broke the silence by asking, “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Arthur replied, looking around the flat with a lost look in his eyes.

As they continued to sit, lost in this overwhelming world, Freya poked her head back in the door. “Merlin? Arthur?” she called.

“Yes?” Merlin called back.

“I’d forgotten that Gaius is at a conference this week, so I phoned him just now. He’ll be back tomorrow and he’ll be around to check on you boys early in the morning. Be careful, won’t you? Don’t do anything crazy tonight.”

“Yes, Freya,” Merlin said, at a loss for what else to say.

“Ok, I’m actually getting back to work now. Don’t forget to eat! Do you want me to call your usual take away place for you?”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Merlin said, relieved.

“Will do. Take care of yourselves!” Freya called before leaving the flat again.

“So what do we do now?” Merlin asked.

“Wait for ‘take out’? Whatever that is,” Arthur said.

"Wonder how long that takes," Merlin said with a sigh. "I'm starving too."

Arthur pulled the strange slim box Freya had put down toward him and poked at the top a bit as Merlin watched nervously.

"What do you think it does?" Merlin asked in a hushed voice.

"Let's find out," Arthur replied, lifting it up carefully and peering at all sides of it. "It's heavy," he said in surprise.

"Let me see," Merlin said, tugging the box away from Arthur to examine it for himself. "Look, it's got a bit of hinge here," Merlin pointed out, gesturing at one thin side of the box. "Maybe it opens." Merlin stared at the other end of the box for a few moments before giving a shrug and pried apart the two halves of the box.

Arthur grabbed the thing back and started running his fingers over it, exploring the smooth black inside of half of the box, then poking at the letters on what appeared to be little buttons on the other half. "What did Freya call this?" Arthur asked. "A laptop?"

"I think so," Merlin replied, rapidly losing interest as Arthur just kept stroking the letters. He glanced around, spotting the "TV remote" Freya left for them and started poking at those buttons. It was nice and colorful and the buttons were soft. Merlin amused himself pushing random buttons until suddenly, a loud crackling rang out and the black box a few feet away sprang to life.

With a yelp, Merlin backed himself into one corner of the couch. Arthur quickly sank into the other corner, hugging the laptop to his chest protectively.

"What did you do, Merlin?" Arthur demanded.

"I don't know!" Merlin half-wailed, waving the remote around. He poked a few more buttons and found himself suddenly fascinated by the changing picture on the box. "I think this controls it," Merlin said slowly, poking a number and watching the picture change from a person talking about "stocks" to some animals roaming a grassy plain.

"Well, as long as it's not about to attack us," Arthur said, relaxing and going back to pressing buttons on his laptop. "Wonder what this one does..." Arthur muttered to himself, jabbing at the different shaped button above all the letters. The laptop promptly beeped and the black shiny surface flickered brightly before making pictures of its own.

"Merlin!" Arthur said excitedly. "This does the same thing!"

Merlin leaned over to look at the laptop eagerly and started pushing buttons. "Nothing happens," Merlin said with a pout, going back to playing with the remote.

Arthur's face fell at Merlin's declaration. Then a new screen popped up with a picture of Merlin's face in the center and a white box beneath it. Arthur frowned at the image for a while, then tried pressing buttons. To his surprise, letters that turned into little dots began appearing in the white box. "Maybe it's some secret key to controlling this!" Arthur muttered. He typed in words like "Camelot," "the five kingdoms," and even "Merlin." Then, just out of sheer exasperation, he typed in his own name.

Much to Arthur's surprise, the image disappeared and a new one took its place. Arthur darted a curious glance at Merlin, but decided not to comment on the fact that his name seemed to have unlocked the strange contraption.

The new image on the screen was one of Arthur and Merlin sunning themselves on the beach, laid out on blankets on the sand as the water lapped at their feet.

Arthur gazed at the image for a few seconds, slightly awed by the tranquility in the scene, before the picture dissolved, and another of the two of them took its place. This time, the two of them had their arms thrown over each other’s shoulders casually, both grinning at the camera. Merlin was holding a small yellow furry bear with a bandage over one eye in his hand, and Arthur was holding a sign that said “Pudsey.”

Arthur was endlessly fascinated by the changing pictures on the laptop screen, but eventually shook himself out of it to continue clicking buttons.

When he clicked a button on the screen that looked like a circle divided into three different colored sections and a blue center, something expanded to fill the screen. At closer inspection, Arthur saw the words “Camelot Marketing” written across the top with a picture of Merlin and a man he didn’t recognize to the side of the writing.

A ding came from the direction of the door.

"What's that do you think?" Arthur whispered, shooting a wary glance at the front door.

"I don't know," Merlin responded equally quietly. "Should we go check?"

"I wish I had my sword," Arthur muttered as he trailed after Merlin.

Merlin flapped a hand at Arthur in a shushing motion. He opened the door a crack and peered through at a man holding some kind of brown bag. "Can we help you?"

"Two orders of Pad Thai take away?" the man asked, lifting the bag up to eye level.

"Ah, yes!" Merlin said, recognizing the words "take away" in the man's question. "Thank you!"

The man gave them a strange look before turning and leaving, muttering something that sounded like, "Thank god I've already been paid."

Merlin closed the door and turned back to Arthur, holding up the bag and giving a shrug.

"Food?" Arthur asked hopefully.

"Smells like it," Merlin said, giving the bag a cautious sniff. "Smells nice too."

Merlin picked his way back to the couches they were sitting in before and set the food on the low table in front of them. He pulled out two round, clear containers containing what looked like noodles with various other things mixed in. He examined one for a few moments before shrugging his shoulders and handing one to Arthur and taking one for himself. Thankfully, Merlin was able to fish out two forks from the bag. They held on to the forks for dear life, feeling marginally better to be holding something familiar for the first time since arriving in this strange place.

Merlin pried open one of the containers and took a bite of the food. "Not bad," Merlin told Arthur, mouth full of noodles and egg.

He had to stifle a laugh when he saw Arthur still struggling with his container. Merlin plucked the strange clear plate out of Arthur's hands and opened it for him. "See?"

Arthur huffed at Merlin. "I was handling it," he insisted.

"Just trying to help, sire," Merlin teased. "Go on, try it."

Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance. "Well, you're not dead yet, so I suppose it can't hurt," he said grudgingly and took a cautious bite.

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. "So?"

"Not bad," Arthur admitted.

Merlin shot Arthur a grin and dug into his food. They spent the remainder of their time eating in silence, gazing around wide-eyed at the room full of unfamiliar objects they were in.

Once Arthur was finished with his dinner, he pulled the laptop back on to his lap, itching with curiosity to find out why Merlin's face had popped up on this screen in relation to a Camelot of some kind. As he clicked around, he was shocked to realize that Merlin was the heir to this "company" much the same as Arthur was the heir to Camelot's throne.

"Merlin..." Arthur whispered. "You've got to see this."

Merlin put down the TV remote to sidle up to Arthur, leaning in close to see the laptop. "What's that?" Merlin asked.

"I don't know," Arthur replied. "But it's... it's about you."

"Me?" Merlin squawked, tipping on to Arthur's lap in surprise. When he picked himself back up, Merlin pulled the laptop closer, losing himself in the descriptions of him, his company, his employees, and most surprising of all, his father. Despite his curiosity, the moment Merlin saw the name Balinor at the top, he frantically clicked away, not wanting Arthur to make the connection between Balinor, Merlin's father, and Balinor the dragonlord.

Merlin went through the rest of the descriptions, drinking in the information about "Camelot Marketing," his company (whatever that was) and the people who worked for him. To his surprise, Merlin realized that many of his employees were people he knew from Camelot, like Gwen, Morgana, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and more. The coincidence made him pause, wanting to think more about the implications of it, but he pushed it to the back of his mind in favor of learning more about where he was.

When he finally got to Arthur's description, linked from Merlin's own description, he had to stifle a laugh. "Arthur?" Merlin said, trying and failing to hide a grin.

"What?" Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes, knowing Merlin's expression couldn't mean anything good.

"Have you read about yourself yet?"

"No... I didn't realize there was information about me."

"I think you should. Right now." Merlin pushed the laptop back at Arthur and started fiddling with the TV remote again, keeping his gaze trained on Arthur out of the corner of his eye, waiting for his reaction.

"What's a secretary?" Arthur asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Er... it's a modified version of a manservant from what I gather," Merlin said, shooting Arthur an amused grin.

"What?" Arthur exclaimed, jumping up so quickly the laptop went crashing to the floor.

"Careful!" Merlin cried, quickly rescuing the laptop and checking for damage. Thankfully, it looked fine.

"I am not going to be your manservant, Merlin," Arthur declared, folding his arms over his chest and lifting his chin haughtily.

"I believe the title used was secretary," Merlin pointed out, trying not to laugh at Arthur's pout.

"You said it was a manservant."

"A _modified_ version of a manservant," Merlin corrected.

"Same difference," Arthur insisted, waving a hand in the air.

"If you insist on being a manservant..."

" _Mer_ lin!" Arthur snapped.

"I'm just saying!" Merlin quickly said, raising his hands, palms up in a gesture of peace. "There's no shame in it. A bit of work might do you good."

"I do plenty of work, Merlin."

"I know you do," Merlin said soothingly. "But this is different work. Think of it as learning how the common people live. As a king, you're meant to be in touch with everyone from the nobles to the peasants, are you not?"

"I suppose..." Arthur agreed grudgingly.

“Think of this as getting in touch with the people then.”

\--

After hours of fiddling with the TV and laptop, Arthur announced that he’d like to go to bed. Merlin agreed and got up, wandering around the flat, opening and closing doors until he found two bedrooms.

“Which is yours and which is mine, do you think?” Merlin asked, looking at Arthur uncertainly.

Arthur peered into both rooms, then pointed to the one on the left. “The cleaner one is mine, obviously.”

“Oi!” Merlin protested before the door slammed shut in his face, a muffled “Good night!” drifting through the wood. Merlin stuck out his tongue at the closed door petulantly before turning on his heel and marching into his own room.

Merlin made sure the door was locked before he changed and flopped down on the remarkably soft mattress. Merlin reveled in the softness surrounding him, arching like a cat. Lazily, he lifted his hand so that it rested on top of the blankets, cupping it and whispering, “ _Leoht._ ” Merlin stared at his hand in dismay when no ball of light appeared. He shook out his hand, then promptly felt foolish for thinking that would make a difference in his magic.

“ _Leoht,_ ” he whispered more insistently.

He was still surrounded by darkness.

Merlin sat up abruptly, staring at his hand for so long he thought he could discern the lines on his palm in the dark. “ _Leoht,_ ” he begged, knowing the result would be no different. There was no tugging in his gut, no flare of magic within him. There was just empty space where his magic should be.

Merlin lurched to his feet, feeling sick. He fumbled with the doorknob, feeling the world spin as he felt his way along the wall to the bathroom. He had the presence of mind to lock the bathroom before collapsing beside the toilet, expecting to heave up his insides at any moment. When the dizziness subsided, Merlin pulled himself up, bumping his shoulder against a tiny switch that clicked. And suddenly the bathroom was bathed in light. Merlin bit his hand to muffle his yelp. He looked around in wonder at the luxurious bathroom. He touched the smooth tiling along the walls, marveling at the glide of his fingers over the stone. He flicked the tap on and off, staring in awe at the water that began to flow and stopped on command, no effort required beyond the twist of a knob.

Merlin ran his hands along the sides of the sink before leaning his weight on his arms, looking into the mirror and into his own face. He’d rarely seen his own reflection before. He’d caught some distorted glimpses of his reflection in water or in the window, and even a couple stolen glances in Arthur’s handheld mirror. But this mirror was extravagant even compared to Morgana’s mirror behind her dressing table.

Turning to see how he’d made the light appear, he found a small switch on the wall. He flicked it, gasping when the room was pitched into darkness. He flicked it over and over, marveling at the ease with which he could control light. Abruptly, the awe filling his chest disappeared as he was reminded of his usual ability to control light with his magic. He leaned against the door and slid down until he was sitting on the blessedly cold floor. He titled his head back against the door and stared up at the ceiling.

He, Merlin, had lost his magic. And he didn’t know how to get it back. Merlin wrapped his arms around his torso, as if he could hold himself together that way.

How could he protect Arthur without magic? How could he and Arthur survive in this bewildering world without magic? Merlin studied the light on the ceiling, suddenly wondering if, maybe, magic wasn’t needed here. Maybe this switch that made light appear and disappear was the only kind of “magic” that existed in this world. He didn’t know what to make of that.

Feeling more drained than before, Merlin pushed himself off the floor and returned to his bedroom, sinking back into his cocoon of warmth, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. He clutched the blankets tighter around himself, seeking the welcome comfort the softness brought before.

This time, even the comfortable bed couldn’t ease the ache in his chest.

\--

The next morning, Merlin woke up with a hollow feeling in his chest. His revelation from the night before hit him all at once. He had to sit back against the headboard and close his eyes for several moments for the room to stop spinning. Merlin was sure he would throw up if he tried to stand. He rubbed at his chest idly, wincing at the feeling of emptiness inside him. How was he going to be any use without magic?

Merlin dragged himself from bed when he heard banging from the room beside his own. With a sigh, he trudged towards Arthur's room, hoping he hadn't broken too many things yet.

"Arthur?" Merlin called wearily.

His answer was a series of muffled swears. Merlin just shook his head and pushed the door open. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know!" Arthur exclaimed in frustration. Merlin fought the urge to smile as he took in Arthur's ruffled state, hair sticking up everywhere and clothes in disarray. "I don't know where anything is! I don't even know _what_ anything is!"

Slowly, Merlin moved forward and put his hands on Arthur's arm, pulling him out of the room gently and settling him on the couch, an area they were mildly familiar with at this point. "I know it's confusing," Merlin said soothingly. "But it will work out, Arthur."

"How do you know that?" Arthur asked tiredly.

"I don't," Merlin said honestly, ignoring Arthur's glare. "But we'll figure it out. We always do."

Arthur gave Merlin a disbelieving look but nodded hesitantly, leaning back against the couch. Merlin smiled slightly and patted Arthur's arm.

When the doorbell rang, they both jumped, but Merlin went to the door, opening it wider this time. "Gaius!" he blurted out.

"Hello, my boy," Gaius said warmly. "Just woke up, I see."

"Er... yes. We were pretty tired."

Gaius' eyes widened for a moment, darting a look at Merlin and Arthur's equal states of undress. "Yes. Of course," Gaius said with a chuckle. "Now, Freya tells me you both had a bit of a fall. She sounded a bit worried you might have forgotten some things. You boys sit on the couch and let me have a look."

Merlin just nodded, uncertain how to respond. This Gaius seemed so like the Gaius from Camelot that he didn't know if he would be able to stop himself from blurting out the truth.

After quite a while of being poked and prodded, Gaius sat back and looked at Merlin and Arthur critically. "Everything seems fine," Gaius said. "Do either of you feel like anything's wrong?"

Merlin and Arthur exchanged a glance, knowing what the honest answer would be, but having no idea how to answer the question aloud.

"We're a little fuzzy on some things," Merlin said slowly. "Something like what Freya was saying?"

"Really?" Gaius said skeptically.

"Really," Merlin squeaked.

"Judging by the lack of injuries, neither of you should be experiencing any memory loss. Are you certain you've forgotten things?"

"Quite certain, yes," Arthur chimed in.

"But you remember me?" Gaius asked.

"Most definitely," Merlin said, nodding vigorously.

"What don't you remember?"

"Everything else?" Merlin squeaked.

"Everything?" Gaius raised his eyebrow in a gesture that was so familiar, the story was tumbling out of Merlin before he or Arthur could stop him.

By the time Merlin finished explaining where they came from, the world they knew, and the sudden thrust into this new world, Gaius' eyebrow had climbed so high up his face it had nearly disappeared into his hairline.

"Merlin!" Arthur had tried admonishing several times during Merlin's story, accompanied by attempts to shut him up. But Merlin had ignored him, the words coming out faster than he had the power to stop.

"You're from... Camelot?" Gaius asked in disbelief. "As in the real Camelot?"

"Is there any other?" Arthur asked in confusion. "After all, there's a Camelot Marketing here, is there not?"

"You know how crazy this all sounds, don't you?"

"Gaius, I know it sounds crazy. But believe me, it's true. We don't know how we got here, but it's definitely not our Camelot. All these... things," Merlin said, waving an arm about frantically in an attempt to express his confusion, "are not what we know. Please believe me. If you don't, I don't know who can help us."

Gaius sat down heavily in a chair beside the couch.

"You boys are going to need to give me some time to digest all of this," Gaius said, rubbing his face wearily. "I've known you all your life, Merlin. I don't know what to make of this."

"Do I seem the same to you?" Merlin asked tentatively.

Gaius didn't respond, only studied Merlin carefully. "I can't say," Gaius finally said.

"Can we talk privately?" Merlin asked.

Gaius nodded slowly and gestured toward the front door. "Come to my flat. We'll talk there."

Merlin was quick to follow, throwing Arthur an apologetic glance before disappearing out the door.

"Gaius," Merlin said the moment the door to Gaius' flat was closed. "Can I be completely honest with you?"

"Of course, my boy."

"Good," Merlin said in relief. "I'm not used to keeping things from you."

"So I'm in your Camelot too?" Gaius asked, a small smile on his face.

Merlin nodded. "You're the one I talk to whenever I need help," Merlin admitted.

"Some things never change," Gaius replied, laughing a little. "What do you need to be honest about?"

"Everything I said earlier was true," Merlin said slowly. "But there's more. I have magic. But Arthur doesn't know." Merlin looked at Gaius tentatively, at once hopeful and fearful that he would understand.

"Magic?" Gaius repeated disbelievingly.

"Gaius, please," Merlin pleaded. "Try to believe me. I wouldn't lie about this."

"Just because I'm a believer in the Old Religion doesn't mean you can make jokes like this, Merlin," Gaius said sternly.

"I'm not joking!" Merlin exclaimed. "I would prove it, but it's gone! It's been gone since I got here."

After a beat, “Wait, what? You’re a believer in the Old Religion? Does that mean you don’t think I’m completely crazy?” Merlin asked hopefully.

Gaius sighed. “If you’re asking if I believe in magic, then yes. But magic hasn’t existed in a very long time, Merlin.”

That gave Merlin pause. “When you say that,” Merlin said slowly, “do you mean that magic doesn’t exist at all in this world?”

Seeing Merlin’s stricken face, Gaius’s expression softened. He patted Merlin arm gently in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m afraid so, Merlin. But I won’t deny that I believe it existed years ago.”

Merlin perked up slightly. “Then do you believe me?”

“Merlin, my boy, I don’t know how I can,” Gaius said. “You’re not known for telling lies, but the old you certainly never displayed any such… talents.”

“But you believe that Arthur and I aren’t the ones you know?”

“I must be crazy,” Gaius muttered, “but I do. I’ve known you for long enough to know that there’s something different about you.”

“Is magic such a far leap then? Arthur and I time traveled, Gaius. What other explanation could you have?”

“That doesn’t prove anything about your magic, Merlin. Unless you’re trying to tell me that you’re the one who caused it,” Gaius said sternly.

“I wasn’t!” Merlin exclaimed. “Arthur doesn’t even know I have magic. I would never do something like this to him.”

“Why doesn’t Arthur know?” Gaius asked curiously.

“Magic is banned in Camelot,” Merlin said weakly.

“Banned?” Gaius echoed. “But the stories…”

“What stories?”

“If what you and Arthur claim is true, that you are the real King Arthur and Merlin… there are legends written about the two of you. Legends about who you were and what you did. The Golden Age under King Arthur’s reign with help from his Court Sorcerer Merlin.”

Merlin could only gape at Gaius. “Gaius, you must show me these legends,” Merlin whispered. “There are prophecies I’ve heard. I – I must know.”

“Merlin,” Gaius said warningly. “I don’t think it’s safe for you to know about your future. It may not be set in stone, but it’s not wise for you to go about changing it.”

“I know,” Merlin replied heavily. “But I need to know what happens to Arthur. I’ve heard things about Arthur’s death. Things that cannot come to pass.”

“Merlin…” Gaius said warily. “All right, I’ll show you. But not now. We have more important things to worry about.”

Merlin nodded reluctantly, knowing that what he feared wouldn’t happen while they were in this world.

“How can I prove to you that I have magic?” Merlin asked.

“I do want to believe you, Merlin,” Gaius said. “But how can I when you tell me you can’t use it anymore?”

“It is the truth, Gaius,” Merlin said softly. “I hope that one day I can show you what I can do, but that’s not today.”

“I must be crazy to say this, but I believe you. Even if you’re not the Merlin I’ve known for years, there’s something about you that makes me want to believe you.”

Merlin’s face broke out into a grin. He launched himself forward and hugged Gaius gratefully. “Thank you, Gaius,” Merlin said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t believe me.”

Gaius smiled and patted Merlin’s back gently. “Why don’t we get back to your flat now? Arthur’s waiting.”

“Yes! Of course,” Merlin agreed immediately, letting Gaius go and swiftly heading for the door.

Gaius followed, chuckling silently to himself, wondering if Merlin and Arthur were like this in every time period.

“Arthur!” Merlin called as he returned to their flat.

“Does he believe us?” Arthur asked quietly, darting a glance at Gaius.

Merlin beamed. “He does.”

“And I assume you’ll need me to cover for you with Freya with the whole memory loss thing?” Gaius asked.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Merlin said embarrassedly.

Gaius shook his head with a small smile. “I’m used to you getting into trouble like this. Of course I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Gaius,” Merlin said. “I don’t know how we could ever thank you enough.”

Gaius waved a hand in the air dismissively. “I’m here to help. Now, there must be much you boys don’t understand. Where shall we start?”

“Can you help us out a bit around the flat?” Merlin asked tentatively. “We don’t know what much of anything is.”

“Of course, of course,” Gaius was quick to agree. “Judging by the fact that the lights are on, I assume you figured out how electricity works?”

“Elec – what?” Arthur asked.

“Oh dear,” Gaius sighed. “I see we have a lot of work to do before the weekend is out. You both are going back to work on Monday, correct?”

Merlin nodded helplessly.

“Well. Let’s get started then. Why don’t I give you boys a tour of your flat and explain what I can. If anything remains a mystery, ask away.”

“Thanks, Gaius,” Merlin said, trailing after Gaius toward the front door, tugging a reluctant Arthur along behind him.

“All right, let’s start with something simple,” Gaius said, pointing at the door. “Locks must be universal. That little metal bump right there? That’s how you lock the door. If you turn it one way, the door will be locked. Turn it back and it’ll open again.” Gaius demonstrated quickly.

He turned to the left of the door and gestured to a little protrusion from the well. “That’s the light switch. You flip it up or down to turn the lights on and off. The light comes from the light bulbs up on the ceiling and around the room. That’s one form of electricity. Electricity is a kind of energy that powers much of what we use here. The lights are a good example.”

Gaius paused for a moment to let Merlin and Arthur take it all in.

“It’s like magic,” Arthur said, looking around warily.

Gaius darted a quick glance at Merlin, who ducked his head and gave a tiny shake of the head. “Er… not quite. It’s more like science.”

Arthur’s expression cleared up considerably. “There’s no harm in it?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Gaius said hastily. “It can still hurt you. For instance, if you put your fingers into an outlet,” he mimed poking two fingers into the holes of the outlet in the wall, “then it can shock you and possibly kill. So be careful. But like anything else, like magic even, it has two sides. It’s wonderful when used properly, but easy to abuse.”

Gaius glanced at Merlin’s withdrawn expression, silently wondering how Merlin spent his days with Arthur and his wariness toward magic when, if the legends were true, Merlin was magic itself.

“Gaius,” Merlin said quietly. “If it’s somewhat like magic, can it help us get back to where we came from?”

Gaius was stumped. “I… can’t say, Merlin. I’m afraid that’s something I’ll have to do a lot more thinking on before I can have an answer for you.”

Merlin just nodded, studying the light fixtures pensively.

Gaius continued to take them around the rest of the flat, showing them how to use the kitchen, including the stove, the microwave, the fridge, and the sink.

Arthur was endlessly fascinated with running water.

“Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed, turning the faucet on and off in quick succession. “It’s like a small waterfall! And I can control it!”

Merlin smiled at Arthur indulgently, having already seen the wonders of running water. “It’s quite fascinating. Everything here is so different.”

“It seems so,” Gaius agreed. “I’m impressed you boys managed to work out how to use the TV and the laptop so quickly. That in itself is a wealth of information at your fingertips.”

Gaius spent the rest of the day showing Merlin and Arthur around their own flat, pointing out different appliances in the kitchen and trying to teach at least one of them how to cook. Merlin was mildly successful, at least having managed to cook an egg without setting fire to the kitchen, unlike Arthur. Gaius considered it a small victory. By the end of the day, it seemed that the two would be able to get around their own flat without being hazards to themselves.

“Okay, boys,” Gaius said. “I’m going to head home now, but I’m just across the hall if you need anything. I’ll be back tomorrow to take you both out to lunch and walk around a bit. I’ll take you grocery shopping as well so you’ll have food in the house, and we can cover whatever I didn’t talk about today tomorrow. Sound good?”

“Thanks, Gaius,” Merlin and Arthur chorused.

Arthur quickly disappeared to play with the running water a bit more, so Gaius took the opportunity to pull Merlin aside and pointed out a shelf of books in Merlin’s bedroom.

“See those books, Merlin?” Gaius asked softly.

Merlin glanced over and nodded upon meeting Gaius’ gaze again.

“Those contain the legends I told you about.”

Merlin’s eyes widened and he took a few quick steps toward the bookshelf before Gaius grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“Listen to me, Merlin,” Gaius said firmly. “The old you was always fascinated with Arthurian legend, so you have quite the collection of stories. The problem is that few of the stories agree with each other. In fact, I’ve never once heard of a legend in which magic was banned in Camelot. I don’t want you to go looking for answers in those books there. I can’t tell you which one is accurate, and I hope you don’t spend your time trying to figure it out. Promise me you’ll try to have a life here no matter what you find in those books, Merlin.”

Merlin stared at the bookshelf for a long while, knowing Gaius was right, but not wanting to fight the temptation to know how his and Arthur’s story ended.

Merlin was quiet for so long that he didn’t turn back to Gaius until he shook Merlin’s arm and called his name sharply. “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes,” Merlin replied automatically. “I… I promise, Gaius. Whatever is in those books won’t help me in this world. That’s my focus right now.”

“Good,” Gaius said, sounding relieved. “Don’t hesitate to come talk to me if you boys need any more help.”

“Thanks, Gaius.”

\--

Merlin spent the rest of the night poring over the Arthurian legend texts once Arthur had fallen asleep.

Merlin quickly learned exactly what Gaius meant about the inconsistencies in the stories. In fact, the only things the legends seemed to agree on was that Arthur was a great king and that he died at the hands of Mordred.

After the fifth version that ended with Mordred mortally wounding Arthur, Merlin flung the book away from him with a cry, curling up on top of the blankets and burying his face in his knees.

“How do I save him?” Merlin whispered to himself brokenly.

His only consolation was that Arthur had a long and prosperous reign before he and Mordred met on the battlefield. But to Merlin it wasn’t enough. It didn’t help that his own role in the stories was as inconsistent as any of the other elements.

If the future wasn’t written in stone, then why did Arthur’s death by Mordred seem so inevitable?

Merlin didn’t sleep at all that night. When he heard Arthur’s alarm go off, and the subsequent banging and cursing that followed, Merlin dragged himself off his bed and carefully put away the books.

He sat on the edge of his bed taking several deep breaths before he went to clean himself up in the bathroom, trying to erase the evidence of his lack of sleep. After thoroughly scrubbing his face, he gave it up as a lost cause, knowing there was no way of hiding the dark circles around his eyes.

Merlin shuffled into the kitchen and made breakfast for himself and Arthur, being careful as he cracked a few eggs and popped in some toast. It seemed smarter to start with something simple that Gaius had taught them the day before than to attempt Arthur’s usual complex breakfast.

“Merlin?” Arthur said as he came stumbling into the kitchen and collapsing into a chair.

Merlin felt the tight knot in his chest loosen slightly at the familiar sound of Arthur’s voice. He closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment, reminding himself that no matter what was to come, Arthur was here, alive, and –

“Is that breakfast?” Arthur asked hopefully.

– waiting for breakfast.

With a short laugh, Merlin turned and scooped the eggs on to two plates, plopping two slices of toast on to each plate before bringing both to the kitchen table.

“Yes, Arthur,” Merlin said with mock patience. “Breakfast is served. As usual.”

After breakfast, Merlin and Arthur managed to have a quiet morning until Gaius knocked on their door to take them out to lunch. Lunch was simple at a fish and chips place where Gaius didn’t want to draw too much attention to themselves while he was explaining what things like cars or streetlights did. They managed to get through the day without much fanfare until Gaius noticed just how tired Merlin had been the entire day.

“Merlin,” Gaius asked while Arthur was off studying the pigeons that were barely afraid of humans. “Did you stay up all night?”

“What?” Merlin said defensively. “No! Not all night.”

“Merlin. I told you not to think too much about those legends.”

“I know,” Merlin said with a sigh. “I just couldn’t resist. I admit that plenty in there is completely inaccurate, but there’s always enough truth in it for me to believe that it came from the life I’ve lived. And Gaius, they all end the same way.” Merlin rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. “It must be true then.”

“The future isn’t set in stone, my boy,” Gaius said.

“This one certainly seems to be,” Merlin snapped.

“Then it’s not going to change even if you waste your life on it,” Gaius reasoned.

“No, but I can’t just stand by and watch Arthur die.”

Gaius had no answer for that.

\--

Monday morning, Merlin was woken from his sleep as his mobile vibrated on the bedside table. Merlin stared at the mobile wordlessly, a little scared to pick it up. He'd figured out what it did the night before, but that didn't make the violent vibrations any less terrifying.

Gingerly, he picked up the mobile and flipped it open, answering with a cautious, "Hello?"

"Merlin," came Freya's exasperated voice. "Where are you?"

"Erm... at home?"

Merlin heard a rather put-upon sigh on the other end of the line. "Why aren't you at work?"

Work! That was a concept Merlin understood. "Send the car?" Merlin said, remembering Freya saying something similar before they got into the black vehicle that transported him and Arthur back to their flat.

"I already have. It's waiting out front. So hurry and get here. Don't forget to drag Arthur with you."

"Arthur... right," Merlin muttered.

"He's your best friend," Freya reminded him.

"I wonder why sometimes," Merlin said under his breath.

When Freya laughed, Merlin blushed, realizing he hadn't been as quiet as he wanted. "We _all_ wonder why, Merlin. Now up and at 'em!"

Before Merlin could protest, Freya hung up.

Merlin gaped at the phone for a few seconds, then dragged himself from bed to go wake Arthur. When he barged into Arthur's room, he stopped short in shock, finding Arthur awake and staring out the window.

"Arthur?"

Arthur didn't look back. "Merlin."

"We have to go to work."

"Kings don't work, Merlin. Kings have duties."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Well, you're not a King here." From the bit of light streaming in from the window, Merlin saw Arthur wince.

"Yes, I know," Arthur said heavily. He turned to face Merlin, giving him a critical look. "Work it is, then." Merlin nodded dumbly, a little shocked that Arthur had given in so easily. Arthur gestured at the room. "Go on. Dress me."

"Arthur!" Merlin protested. "I hardly know how to dress myself in these clothes, much less dress you."

Arthur waved at him dismissively. "You can figure it out. I have faith in your limited mental capabilities."

Merlin narrowed his eyes at Arthur, but gave in with a huff. They were pressed for time with a driver waiting downstairs, and it took more time and effort than Merlin had to expend this morning to argue with Arthur. As it was, it took Merlin half an hour to dress Arthur to a somewhat passable level. Quickly, Merlin scrambled to his own room to throw on some clothes in roughly the same fashion as he dressed Arthur.

They dashed out the door, panting by the time they reached the car. The driver's eyes widened as he looked Merlin and Arthur up and down. He seemed to stifle a laugh before winking at Merlin. Merlin gave an uncertain smile in return, sliding into the backseat, dragging Arthur in with him.

When they arrived at their office, Freya was standing out front, tapping her toes and checking her watch. She hurried forward when the car pulled up, but stopped short when she saw the state of Merlin and Arthur's clothing. She pressed her lips together tightly, corners turning up. Merlin almost asked if she was all right before she shook her head and let out a laugh. She beckoned them both forward, fixing their collars and the fit of their jackets, adjusting the skewed buttons that Merlin couldn't get to button properly.

"What did you boys do? Decide to have a shag before coming to work today?"

Merlin and Arthur exchanged blank looks, wondering what the word "shag" meant. They turned their blank faces on Freya, but she didn't seem to buy it. She patted Merlin's shoulder and winked. "It's okay. Your secret's safe with me." Just before she walked away, Merlin thought he heard a muttered, "Not as if the entire office doesn't already know anyway."

Merlin and Arthur exchanged another blank look, hurrying after Freya.

"Arthur, there’s more paperwork on your desk. Last I walked by, the pile looked like it was about to tip over. You might want to get on that. And Merlin, a new case came in that your father wants you to look at." Freya took Merlin's arm, pulling him along, chattering to him about "cases," "promos," and "the client." Just before they reached Merlin's office, a tall stack of papers on a desk just outside Merlin's door gave way.

"Oh no!" Freya exclaimed. "Let me help you with those, Arthur," Freya said, quickly bending down to pick up the fallen papers. Arthur and Merlin hurried over as well, gathering the mounds of paper and piling them back on to Arthur's desk. "You'll have to sort through all of these today," Freya said, flipping through the pile. "Merlin will be needing them sometime tomorrow."

Befuddled, Arthur stared after Merlin, as he was pulled away by Freya, with a slightly panicked look on his face.

As Merlin was ushered into his office, Freya continued chattering at him, talking about a myriad of things that went right over his head. Once he was settled, Freya put down an overflowing folder in front of him and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

“Don’t worry, Merlin,” Freya said reassuringly. “Gaius talked to me about the temporary memory loss you and Arthur are going through. I know things might be a little difficult for you, especially in the office, so I’ll do what I can for you. You have plenty of books in your flat about marketing, so those should be plenty to help you brush up on anything you don’t remember. Let’s start you off slow. Why don’t you do a bit of data entry to refresh your memory on your clients? I’ll pull all their profiles and some completed cases so you can try to get back in the swing of things.”

With that, Freya was gone in a whirl, with only the lingering scent of lavender perfume as evidence to Merlin that she had even been there at all. Scant minutes later, she was back with more folders in her arms, dumping all of it in front of Merlin. He could only sit, dumbfounded, as she rattled off more facts and figures that made no sense before giving him another comforting pat and disappearing through a side door into what Merlin assumed was her own office.

Merlin stared down at the teetering pile of folders in front of him in bewilderment, Merlin finally resigned himself to just starting at the top. As he went through the mountain of information, he silently thanked the gods that all the research he did with Gaius in Camelot had made him a fast reader. The profiles in the folders didn’t seem overly complicated. Aside from some technical terms Merlin didn’t grasp, he was able to figure a bit more out about the kind of work he did in this world.

All the profiles were very helpful in learning about the kinds of people he did work for and the other folders provided surprisingly detailed description of the products they made and Camelot Marketing was expected to promote.

From all the reading, it looked like Merlin’s job was to present the things people made creatively so people would buy them. It didn’t seem too foreign. He’d watched frequently as vendors in the lower town would perform tricks or tell stories to sell their product to passersby. Now he was getting paid for doing it for the vendors.

And this data entry thing. It didn’t look too scary. He was the one who usually did all the organizing for Arthur. This looked like some kind of organizational system with his clients’ information, their product, what they wanted, and when they wanted it. It wasn’t too different from the charts Merlin drew up for Arthur sometimes about the tasks he was expected to perform.

The more Merlin read, the more confident he started to feel about being capable of doing his job. The data entry went fairly quickly, the only thing slowing him down being his slow typing speed.

When Freya poked her head in around lunch time to remind Merlin to eat, he smiled at her gratefully and turned down her invitation to join her for lunch. Instead, he called out to Arthur and went around to his desk to check on how he was doing.

“How’s it going?” Merlin asked quietly.

“Fine,” Arthur snapped.

Merlin was taken aback at Arthur’s hostile response. “Are you sure? Do you need help? Do you want to go have some lunch?”

“I said I’m fine, Merlin,” Arthur just said without looking at him.

“Arthur - “

“Leave it, all right?”

Merlin just nodded slowly, feeling completely bewildered. He went out on his own and bought two sandwiches, one of which he deposited on Arthur’s desk before he went around the rest of the office to say hello to the rest of his employees.

Arthur could only watch as Merlin went around, chatting easily with everyone, making the women laugh and bat their eyelashes at him while the men clapped him on the shoulder good naturedly and smiled at him fondly. It was a dynamic Arthur had never experienced and didn’t know how to create.

As he looked on, he began to feel more and more left out. When his gaze fell on the neatly wrapped sandwich on his desk, he steeled himself, picking up the sandwich and joining Merlin and his group of fans.

The moment he entered the circle, the chatter quieted. Merlin turned and upon catching sight of Arthur, his face lit up, and he practically bounced to Arthur’s side.

“Arthur!” Merlin said, beaming at Arthur. “Glad you decided to join us!”

Arthur looked around, not seeing the same excitement mirrored on everyone else’s faces. He felt his heart sink, realizing that the version of him in this world wasn’t very popular at the office. At his side, Merlin kept chattering on, either oblivious to Arthur’s discomfort, or trying to alleviate it. When Arthur felt a gentle brush on his arm, he looked over at Merlin, knowing it was his way of trying to comfort him. Arthur relaxed slightly, then abruptly tensed when he saw the looks the group was exchanging as they glanced pointedly between himself and Merlin. Arthur snuck another glance at Merlin, this time convinced that Merlin was oblivious to the looks going on around him.

When Arthur looked back at the group, it was to see a tall, very familiar man join the group. “Leon!” Arthur blurted out.

Merlin shut his mouth abruptly, following Arthur’s gaze to find that it was indeed Leon who had just appeared.

“Hello,” Leon said slowly, looking at Arthur’s strangely. “Just thought I’d join the group.”

“Hello, Leon,” Merlin said cheerfully.

“Hey, Merlin,” Leon replied. He smiled at Merlin warmly, all the confusion from when he was speaking to Arthur having melted away. Arthur slumped a little, realizing that he truly was a stranger in this world if even his most loyal of knights regarded him as an intruder. But Arthur stood his ground, staying at Merlin’s side, taking comfort from the few brushes of Merlin’s hand against his.

\--

A booming laugh rang through the office before Merlin’s door swung open. Merlin jumped up at the noise then immediately collapsed back into his seat upon seeing the man that walked through the door.

“Merlin!” the man called, grinning, sweeping forward to clasp Merlin’s shoulder.

“F-father,” Merlin stammered, too shocked to do any more than stare up at the man who had died in his arms.

When Balinor looked away, Merlin followed his gaze to find Arthur staring back at him, face slack with shock.

“Arthur, how are you?” Balinor asked warmly, holding out his hand for Arthur to shake.

Arthur stared at the proffered hand blankly, and Merlin could read the bewilderment in his eyes. Haltingly, Arthur took Balinor’s hand, giving it a weak shake. “Good, sir. How are you?”

“Good, good. Glad to see you and my son are still getting on well, all hidden away in Merlin’s office,” Balinor replied, eyes twinkling mischievously at the pair of them.

Merlin and Arthur could only nod mutely, neither certain of how to respond. While Balinor was speaking to Arthur, Merlin took the opportunity to get a better look at his father. Gone was the matted hair and unruly beard from years of living in a cave. In its place was short, slicked back hair and a close cropped beard and mustache. Gone was the bulky, well-worn coat, and in its place was a tailored three piece suit, a dragon embroidered on the breast. The most noticeable difference, however, was the warmth in his gaze and the laugh lines around his eyes, a sharp contrast to the sharp, hunted gaze that followed your movements in Camelot. In fact, if Merlin hadn’t been expecting his father to look the way he did, he likely wouldn’t have recognized the man himself.

“How is the Kilgharrah contract coming, son?” Balinor asked Merlin, gaze turning expectant and serious.

“Fine,” Merlin said, still reeling from seeing his father in the flesh again.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Balinor declared, smiling at his son proudly. “All our competitors bemoan their children’s rebellions, and I get to just sit back and let my son’s achievements speak for themselves.”

“Thank you, Father,” Merlin whispered, terrified he was going to start crying if Balinor kept smiling at him like that.

Balinor glanced around at the piles of papers on Merlin’s desk. “I can see you’ve got plenty of work to do. I’ll leave you to it. Don’t forget about Sunday lunch. William has been chewing my ear off about getting you to drop your work for a couple hours for weeks.”

“William?” Merlin asked, hardly daring to believe his ears.

“Been buried in work too long, eh?” Balinor teased. “William. Your best friend from when you were kids. Ringing any bells?”

Merlin nodded, pressing his lips together tightly to keep from bursting into tears.

Balinor seemed to completely misinterpret the change in Merlin’s face since he leaned forward and patted Merlin’s shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on Will, Merlin. He just misses you. He likes working for my Ealdor branch, but if he had the choice, you know he’d rather be here getting under your skin.”

“I know,” Merlin whispered, fighting to keep his voice from breaking.

“As long as you understand,” Balinor replied, straightening and looking at his watch. “I’ll see you on Sunday then, Merlin. No excuses this time.”

“Don’t worry, Father. I’ll be there,” Merlin vowed, knowing his father had no way of knowing just how much he meant it. Balinor shot Merlin one last smile before leaving, closing the door behind him gently.

Merlin stared at the door for a couple of uncomprehending seconds, then sagged back in his chair. He would’ve slid right off the leather if Arthur hadn’t sprung up and caught him before he could hit the floor. Arthur helped him to get a steadier seat, then peered into Merlin’s face, worried and incredulous at once.

“Merlin. God, what just happened?” Arthur whispered frantically.

“I just met my father,” Merlin gasped, feeling lightheaded, just managing to leave out the word, “again.”

“He’s…” Arthur struggled for words for a moment, finally settling on, “affectionate.”

Merlin nodded, turning to stare at the closed door again. “I didn’t expect that,” he murmured.

Arthur smiled ruefully. “No, I’m sure you didn’t. How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Merlin said at once, letting his head loll back. “I didn’t think he would be proud of me.”

“No,” Arthur said quietly, leaning away from Merlin, a faraway look in his eyes. “I suppose you didn’t.”

“And he wants me to go for Sunday lunch!” Merlin exclaimed. Then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I guess the ‘me’ of this time makes a lot of excuses?”

“I think the ‘you’ of any time makes a lot of excuses,” Arthur said dryly.

Merlin aimed a weak kick at Arthur, barely managing to graze his ankle. “Arthur,” Merlin protested. “You know what I mean.”

“It does seem that way,” Arthur agreed, looking down at his feet.

“Well that ‘me’ clearly doesn’t know what he’s taking for granted,” Merlin said, looking a little dazed.

“It’s hard to see what you really have until you’ve lost it,” Arthur said.

“When did you become wise?” Merlin quipped.

“I’ve always been wise, you idiot,” Arthur declared, puffing up his chest, but quickly deflating, a sad look on his face.

“Are you okay?” Merlin asked, sitting up properly to get a good look at Arthur’s face.

“Fine,” Arthur said stiffly.

“No, you’re obviously not fine. What’s wrong? Do you not like my father?” Merlin asked, heart sinking.

“No, Merlin, your father is… wonderful,” Arthur sighed.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing, all right?” Arthur insisted.

Merlin studied Arthur’s deliberately blank face for a moment, then smiled sympathetically. “Do you miss your father?”

“Something like that,” Arthur murmured, refusing to meet Merlin’s eyes.

Merlin knew better than to push, having gotten a halfway decent answer. He nodded slowly, then pushed at Arthur’s knee. “Come on,” Merlin said softly. “My father was right. We do have work to do.”

\--

When Arthur came out of the shower, he found Merlin curled up on the sofa, nose buried in a thick book. From the looks of it, he was nearly done reading it.

Puzzled, Arthur asked, “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Merlin responded distractedly. After a beat, he looked up and shot Arthur a smile. “Just catching up on some reading.”

Arthur gestured incredulously at the tome. “That’s what you call ‘catching up’? I’ve never seen you read so much before.”

“That’s because Geoffrey hoarded his books and those books were boring. All about battle strategies or poetry. No practical stuff,” Merlin said, wrinkling his nose.

“I should think battle strategies are very practical,” Arthur shot back, huffing in irritation.

“To you, maybe. To me, they made little sense,” Merlin said with a shrug, turning back to his book.

“So, this,” Arthur tilted his head and squinted at the cover of Merlin’s book, “ _Marketing: The Core_ is practical, is it?”

“It’s for work,” Merlin explained, licking his finger and flipping a page. “I want to be good at my job, Arthur,” Merlin said softly. “For my father’s sake. And for Freya’s sake. And… for the sake of whoever we’re supposed to be.”

“Since when have you been so determined to work?”

Merlin studied the ground consideringly. “Since we got here I guess. In Camelot, I had… responsibilities,” Merlin said slowly. “But they were all to you, and I did what I thought was important. Few people that I truly knew of relied on me, you being the most important one, obviously.” Merlin gave Arthur a small smile, and Arthur felt a little mollified. “But here, I know everyone’s faces. I see what they expect from me. I know what will happen if I don’t deliver. And I just can’t let that many people down. Seeing their faces… it makes it real.”

Merlin looked at Arthur uncertainly, brightening when Arthur gave a short nod of reluctant admiration.

“Besides,” Merlin said, immediately reverting to his usual cheekiness, “I’ve always been a quick study. This can’t be that hard to pick up.”

Arthur snorted. Different times, same Merlin. He flopped down on the sofa beside Merlin, not bothering to protest when Merlin pushed his toes under Arthur’s thighs. Arthur reached for the remote and flicked on the TV, leaning back contentedly when Downton Abbey filled the screen.

Merlin glanced at the screen and shook his head, an amused smile on his face. After a bit, he peeked up at Arthur tentatively.

“Have you thought about doing some reading for your job?”

Arthur startled and dropped the remote, glaring at Merlin as he bent over to pick it up. “No. I haven’t.”

“Why not?” Merlin asked curiously. “Don’t you want to get better at it?”

Merlin could feel the tension in Arthur’s body when he responded. “I’m doing just fine,” he said shortly.

Merlin hesitated before speaking again. “You’re going to need to do better to keep your job,” Merlin said as gently as he could.

“Well, you decide that, don’t you,” Arthur said stiffly, pointedly turning away from Merlin to focus on the TV. With a sigh, Merlin turned back to his book.

The next day, as Merlin was settling in with his cup of coffee (a wonderful invention that would’ve made his mornings much easier in Camelot), Arthur barged in, a teetering stack of papers in his arms and a petulant look on his face. As the door shut behind him, Arthur stared at Merlin expectantly. Merlin stared back, calmly taking a sip of his coffee and slowly raised an eyebrow. Merlin didn’t budge even as Arthur’s stare turned more and more into a glare. When Merlin took a third sip of his coffee, Arthur finally gave an irritated huff and marched forward, dropping his papers on Merlin’s desk with a dull thud.

“Well? Are you going to help me or not?” Arthur demanded.

“I don’t recall being asked for help,” Merlin teased, smirking at Arthur.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “You know what I’m asking, Merlin.”

“Do I?” Merlin said, nonchalantly blowing on his coffee while failing to hide a grin.

“Merlin!” Arthur hissed. “What am I supposed to do with these?” Arthur made a wild, desperate gesture at the papers.

Merlin gave in, knowing that was the closest he was going to get to a plea for help. “Okay, okay, come around to this side of the desk,” Merlin said, pulling the stack of papers toward him to leaf through them.

“Why can’t you do this yourself?” Arthur grumbled. “It’s all for you anyway.”

“Why couldn’t you polish your own boots?” Merlin shot back, not bothering to look up at Arthur, grinning to himself when the spluttering started.

“Okay, most of this is fairly easy. A lot of it is data entry, which means all you have to do is type it into the computer systematically. As for the rest… they’re some people that I need you to call back. You can take a couple just to practice, but I’ll give most of it to Freya. No pressure, okay?” Merlin offered Arthur a comforting smile.

“What was that about needing to keep my job then?” Arthur asked, avoiding Merlin’s gaze.

Merlin’s eyes softened. “I’m not really going to fire you, Arthur. But you’ve got to give me a better reason than you have been to keep you on. If my father finds out, it won’t matter how much I want to keep you if you can’t do your job.”

Arthur nodded reluctantly. “Here,” Merlin said, handing Arthur a small stack of the papers. “I’ll give the numbers and messages to Freya and I’ll do some of this data entry myself. I know you’re still having trouble with typing.”

Arthur nodded and muttered a grudging “thanks,” taking his handful of papers and turning to leave.

“Arthur?” Merlin called. Arthur gave him a questioning glance. “If you’re having trouble, just come back, okay?”

Arthur flushed, knowing he was likely to need help again at the rate he was going, and just nodded, quickly escaping Merlin’s office.

Not ten minutes later, Arthur was back, gruffly asking Merlin how to sort the information. Merlin smiled sympathetically, resisting the urge to tease, knowing how angry Arthur must be with himself to be back so soon.

“Why don’t you grab your laptop and come in here? I’ll help you,” Merlin suggested.

Reluctantly, Arthur nodded, retrieving his laptop and the papers, settling himself beside Merlin at the desk.

The work proceeded to move much more smoothly with Merlin and Arthur in the same room, Arthur embarrassedly muttering a question once in a while and Merlin gently telling him how to do it right. They began to make a habit of this way of doing their work, usually spending half the day in Merlin’s office, working in the same space, much as they did in Camelot. It was a kind of comfort, offering a bit of consistency from Camelot to modern day. Arthur thought nothing of it until he finally decided to venture to the employee break room on break instead of staying in Merlin’s office, throwing jibes at him for fun.

Just as Arthur was about to enter the break room, he heard his and Merlin’s names coming from the room, accompanied by a round of giggling. He paused, wary of what the girls were talking about.

“Do those two even spend time apart?” Arthur heard one of the girls say. Arthur struggled to place the voice, but he spent so much time avoiding other employees that he hardly knew faces, much less voices.

“Arthur doesn’t spend all his time in Merlin’s office. I usually see him at his desk for part of the day,” the other girl said.

“Well sure, they try to keep up pretenses. But come on, they spend half the day locked up in Merlin’s office. Then they go home together. And every time they leave the office, one of them always looks disheveled.”

“Hey, I’m not saying I disagree, cuz they’re definitely fucking, but they wouldn’t bring it into the office, would they?”

Arthur suddenly felt his knees give way at the word “fucking”. He caught himself by stumbling against the wall, thankfully not hitting it loudly enough for the girls to hear. When his head stopped spinning, he tuned back into the conversation, again completely thrown off by the fact that the girls had moved from the subject of “fucking” to “I wish I could be like them.”

“They’re so sweet. What I wouldn’t give to be in Arthur’s place.”

“At Merlin’s desk or in his bed?” one of the girls teased.

“In his bed, of course!” the other girl squealed, dissolving into further giggles.

When the giggling abated, Arthur felt the tone of the conversation shift, turning serious. “But really, Merlin or no Merlin, what I wouldn’t give to be looked at like that,” she said wistfully.

“Yeah,” the other girl sighed. The break room was silent after that, and Arthur was only able to make his legs move again after he heard the girls’ footsteps fading away. Arthur made a wobbly sprint to the bathroom, locking himself in a stall and leaning against it heavily, staring up at the ceiling.

It wasn’t as if he’d never thought of Merlin that way. It was impossible not to have, with the man dressing and undressing him every day for years. But thinking and doing were two very different things. And him fucking Merlin? Or – Arthur gulped – Merlin fucking him? Arthur rubbed a hand over his face, trying to wipe away the images now seared behind his eyelids. He wasn’t supposed to like the idea.

And Merlin. Should he tell Merlin? Oh god, and the girls wanted to be in Merlin’s bed. Was the entire office in love with him? Arthur paused his previous train of thought, considering everyone’s attitudes toward Merlin. After some thinking, he concluded that, yes, it was quite clear that there were a disproportionate number of people in love with Merlin in this office. Arthur absently rubbed at his chest, feeling a tiny pang go through him.

He couldn’t tell Merlin yet. Arthur had to sort through all this for himself before he could tell anyone.

\--

“Arthur, will you be okay tomorrow?” Merlin asked, looking up from the textbook he was engrossed in.

“I’ll be fine. What do you mean?” Arthur asked, mystified.

Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur. “I mean I’m going to visit my father tomorrow. I won’t be home most of the day. Will you be all right on your own?”

It was Arthur’s turn to roll his eyes. “Yes, _Mer_ lin, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” Arthur said with exaggerated patience.

Merlin didn’t seem convinced. “You know you’re welcome to come with me if you’d prefer that,” Merlin persisted.

“I promise I’ll be just fine, Merlin. It’s your first time properly spending time with your father. I’m not going to get in the way of that. Besides, you’ll be seeing William again, won’t you?” Arthur asked gently.

Merlin brightened at the mention of Will, making Arthur’s heart clench painfully in his chest. “Yeah. I can’t wait,” Merlin replied, shooting Arthur an excited grin. “But still,” he continued more softly. “You won’t be in the way. I promise.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, turning toward Merlin and looking him in the eye. “Listen to me. I will be fine here on my own. You go and spend some time with your father and with William. I assure you I will still be in one piece when you return.”

“If you’re sure,” Merlin said skeptically.

“I’ve been keeping myself alive for over twenty years, Merlin. I can do it for another day.”

\--

The next morning, just before Merlin was out the door, he paused in front of Arthur where he was watching TV.

“Arthur, are you _sure_ you wouldn’t rather come with me?”

“Merlin, for the last time, I am very sure. Go on!” Arthur exclaimed, flapping his hands at Merlin to shoo him out the door.

“All right, all right. Just trying to help,” Merlin grumbled good-naturedly, sending Arthur a bright smile before disappearing out the door.

On the train ride over to Ealdor, Merlin sat biting his nails and worrying about how he would be received. It was a long ride.

Finally, Merlin gave in and pulled out his phone, texting Arthur, _what if they don’t like me?_

Moments later, Merlin’s phone vibrated with an incoming text. _Don’t be an idiot. Of course they’ll like you. They obviously like you already._

Biting his lip nervously, Merlin texted back, _But it’s not me they like, is it?_

His phone buzzed again. _Merlin. They’ll love you. Everyone loves you. Don’t be a clotpole._ the text said. Merlin could practically hear the exasperation in the text, but he smiled anyway at the use of the word “clotpole.”

“Next stop: Ealdor,” came crackling over the loudspeakers.

Merlin tensed but forced himself to relax. He texted Arthur one last time. _Ealdor’s the next stop. Thanks._

Just before getting off the train, Merlin’s phone buzzed again. The text simply said, _Good luck._

Clutching the phone tightly, Merlin stepped off the train and found the car hired to take him to his family house. In the car, Merlin watched the scenery fly by, feeling a strange sense of familiarity.

When he stepped into his house, he had to stifle a gasp of awe. It was huge. Never once would he have dreamed that his family would have such a luxurious house. He knew his family was rich in this world, but this was insane compared to what he was used to in Camelot.

“Merlin, is that you?” came his father’s voice.

“Yes, father,” Merlin replied, voice catching slightly.

Moments later, Balinor emerged into the hallway Merlin was in, smiling warmly and wiping his hands on a dishcloth. “It’s good to finally have you in this house again, son,” Balinor said, tugging Merlin into a hug.

“It’s good to be back,” Merlin whispered, trying to hide the lump in his throat.

“Now, William will be here soon I expect. I never know when that boy is going to show up. I swear he might as well live here with how often he’s around.”

“Do you not like Will?” Merlin asked tentatively.

“Of course I do,” Balinor said with a laugh, ruffling Merlin’s hair as he went to tend to the stove. “You two have only been best friends since you were born. He just misses you. You’ve barely been around since you went to university and met that Arthur of yours. Nice, polite boy he is too.” Balinor winked at Merlin, leaving Merlin wondering if he missed something.

“I’m sorry, father,” Merlin said guiltily, silently fuming at the him of this time for being so ungrateful for what he had.

“Don’t be,” Balinor said. “You’re growing up. Getting ready to take over the company soon. Your mum would be so proud.”

At Balinor’s small, sad smile, Merlin swallowed past the lump in his throat, suddenly nervous as he asked, “Where is mum?”

Balinor looked at Merlin in surprise. His face softened when he said, “Gaius told me about your temporary memory loss. I guess I know what he meant now.”

Merlin could only nod mutely.

Balinor sighed. “I don’t fancy having to break this to you a second time. Your mother… she died when you were very young. It was a car accident.”

Merlin felt his whole world spinning. His mother was dead? He sat down heavily in the chair closest to him. For once, he thought he had his family back. But again, it was snatched away from him.

“Balinor?” came a voice from the front.

“In the kitchen, Will,” Balinor called back, patting Merlin on the shoulder gently before going to greet Will.

“Merlin!” Will exclaimed as he entered the kitchen.

Putting aside his grief, Merlin shook himself a little, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. Dimly, he heard his father muttering to Will, and then Will’s sharp intake of breath. When he turned to face Will, it was to find a sympathetic expression on his face.

“Hey,” Will said softly. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Merlin gave a small smile. “I know,” he said quietly. When Will held out his arms, Merlin hurried forward and wrapped Will in a hug, squeezing tightly, trying to convey all the things he never got a chance to say in his own world.

“Hey,” Will said soothingly, patting his back. “It’s good to see you too. Finally.”

Merlin laughed a little. “I’ve missed you too.”

Will snorted. “I doubt it. You’ve got your _Arthur_ to keep you company. If you missed me, you would’ve come back sooner.”

Merlin flushed, ducking his head in embarrassment. “I’ve been busy,” he said weakly.

“Right. Thank god for Skype, or I’d never see your face.”

“I promise I’ll visit more often,” Merlin protested.

“You always say that,” Will said, rolling his eyes.

“I will!” Merlin insisted.

“Okay, okay. I’ll believe you for now,” Will said, giving in. “How’ve you been? Has that Arthur bloke been treating you right?”

Merlin’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “What do you mean?”

“God, are you two still dancing around each other? How long will it take for the two of you to get your heads out of your arses? Or should I say get your heads into each other’s arses?” Will wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Will!” Merlin yelped, slapping Will on the arm and darting an embarrassed glance at his father. “It’s not like that with me and Arthur.”

“Sure, sure,” Will said, slinging an arm over Merlin’s shoulders. “Seriously. How have you been? It’s been ages since I’ve seen you in person.”

“Er, good,” Merlin said, at a loss for what to say given his situation.

“That’s all I get?” Will said, poking Merlin in the chest. “Just good? No details?”

“Er…”

“You’re lucky I get all the info from your dad. So I actually do know what’s going on in your life. Temporary memory loss, huh? How’s that doing?”

“It’s getting better,” Merlin said. “It’s getting easier to remember things.”

“Good. Wouldn’t want you to have some mental condition.”

“Arthur would say I’ve always got some issues there,” Merlin said automatically.

That startled a laugh out of Will. “I’ve gotta meet this guy.”

“You could come up to visit,” Merlin said hopefully.

“Really?” Will asked, genuinely surprised. “You’d want that?”

“Of course,” Merlin insisted. “Whenever you want.”

“My next vacation,” Will said, grinning wildly. “I’ll be coming up to London to bug you.”

“Looking forward to it,” Merlin said eagerly.

“Lunch is ready, boys,” Balinor called.

“Thanks, dad,” Merlin said, getting all choked up again.

\--

After lunch, Merlin stayed for several hours, chatting to his father and his childhood best friend. When it started getting late, Merlin got up to leave.

“I should be heading back,” Merlin said reluctantly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner, Merlin?” Balinor asked.

“Thanks, dad. But Arthur’s expecting me for dinner,” Merlin replied.

“All right,” Balinor said. “Bring him with you some time. He’s a nice boy. And you know William wants to meet him.”

“I will,” Merlin promised, hugging his father and Will tightly before waving and disappearing out the door to head for home.

When Merlin got home, he collapsed on the couch beside Arthur, staring up at the ceiling listlessly.

“How was the visit?” Arthur finally asked.

“Great,” Merlin replied. “My father was great. I was glad to see Will again.”

“But?”

Merlin laughed hollowly. “My mother died in a car accident when I was little.”

Merlin heard a sharp intake of breath from beside him. “God, Merlin. I’m sorry.”

“I probably should’ve expected it. What are the odds I would have the perfect family just because I jumped forward in time? You can’t have it all, right?”

“Of course you can,” Arthur said softly. “You have your father and Will, right? You have something.”

Immediately, Merlin felt awful when he remembered that Arthur didn’t have his mother or father in this world. “I’m sorry, Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “I… forgot about what you’ve lost.”

“It’s not really losing if you didn’t have it before, is it?” Arthur said.

“But you had your father once,” Merlin murmured.

“I did,” Arthur admitted. “But I lost him too. It’s nothing new really. But Hunith… she didn’t deserve that. And you certainly don’t.”

“Thanks,” Merlin just said, losing himself in thought again.

After several long moments of silence, Merlin asked, “Arthur? Do you ever wonder if we’ll get back?”

“All the time,” Arthur admitted quietly. “I’m afraid we won’t ever see Camelot again.”

“Me too,” Merlin whispered. “It’s so similar here. But so different at the same time.”

“Aside from the names, what’s similar here, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“It… feels like we’re in the same place. Don’t you feel it?”

“No,” Arthur sighed. “I don’t feel it at all.”

Merlin dropped the subject.

\--

“Merlin, have you got a minute?” Freya asked, poking her head into Merlin’s office.

“Always,” Merlin said, looking up at Freya with a sweet smile. “What is it?”

“Your father would like to throw a party for Dragon Corp in celebration of the contract we’ve just signed with them.”

“Great. When is it?”

“Next month, the fourteenth,” Freya replied, handing Merlin the guest list Balinor faxed over.

“What’s this for?” Merlin asked, scanning the list of names.

“It’s the guest list. Your father expects you to know them all.”

“There are over a hundred names on here!” Merlin yelped, looking at Freya incredulously.

“You can do it,” Freya said encouragingly. “Your father expects it of you every time these parties are thrown.”

“Every time?” Merlin squeaked.

“Yes…” Freya said slowly, frowning. “Don’t you remember?”

“Of course!” Merlin was quick to say. “It’s a daunting task, as usual.”

“Don’t worry, you always manage. Now, you can pick me up at 6. I’ll pick out a new tie for you that matches my dress, so all you have to worry about is those names and your speech, which I will write for you, as usual.” Freya made a few marks on her clipboard, looking up at Merlin expectantly, only to find Merlin staring back blankly.

“What?” Freya asked.

“I’m picking you up?” Merlin asked, feeling a bit slow.

Freya flushed. “Did you have someone you wanted to bring? I’m sorry, I should’ve asked. It’s just that we always go together and you hadn’t mentioned anyone else.”

Arthur’s face flashed through his mind, but he shook his head to clear it. “No, I’d be happy to go together. It just slipped my mind, is all.”

“Are you sure?” Freya asked, looking uncertain.

“Positive,” Merlin said, nodding enthusiastically.

“Good,” Freya replied, face relaxing into a smile. “Who would take care of you if I weren’t around?” she teased.

“Oi! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!” Merlin protested.

Freya made a noncommittal noise. Merlin opened his mouth to defend his own capabilities, but before he could get another word out, Arthur barged in, laptop under his arm.

“Oh, sorry,” Arthur said gruffly. “I can come back.”

“No, stay,” Freya said, offering Arthur a small smile. “I was just leaving.”

“Yeah, after insulting me,” Merlin muttered under his breath.

Arthur perked up. “What did you say?” he asked Freya, grinning.

Freya stifled a laugh at Merlin’s outraged noise. “Nothing unusual. Just that he can’t take care of himself.”

“I bet he didn’t like that one bit.” Arthur laughed, smirking at Merlin.

“Not at all,” Freya agreed.

“’He’ is sitting right here,” Merlin grumbled. “And I am too capable of taking care of myself.”

“Merlin, you would jump off a bridge to save a drowning cat if you saw one,” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow at Merlin.

“So?”

“You can hardly swim,” Freya said.

“And you would probably drown,” Arthur added.

“But the cat would be fine,” Freya quipped. “You would make sure the cat was safe before drowning.”

Arthur and Freya looked at each other appraisingly, pleasantly surprised that their sense of humor was remarkably similar. Freya quirked a warm smile at Arthur, and Arthur smiled back hesitantly.

“If you two are quite done,” Merlin said dryly.

“We’ll stop teasing you,” Freya said with a laugh. “Don’t forget about the guest list. And I’ll have the tie sent to your flat.”

When Freya closed the door behind her, Arthur plopped down beside Merlin, asking, “What tie?”

“A tie for a party my father’s throwing for Dragon Corp,” Merlin replied. “Apparently Freya and I always go together and she picks out my clothing.”

Merlin heard a forced laugh from Arthur. “So you are incapable of taking care of yourself.” Merlin turned to Arthur with a frown, wondering about the odd look on Arthur’s face.

“I took care of you just fine for years, didn’t I?” Merlin sniffed.

Arthur’s face melted into a fond smile when he said quietly, “I didn’t say you couldn’t take care of other people. Just yourself.”

Merlin blushed, suddenly unable to bring himself to meet Arthur’s gaze.

“Have fun with Freya at the party,” Arthur said in the same soft tone.

“You’re invited too,” Merlin said, head snapping up, jabbing a finger in Arthur’s direction. “Don’t think you’re getting out of it.”

“What?” Arthur yelped, eyes widening in horror.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at Arthur. “Be glad I’m not making you wear a hat.”

“You couldn’t,” Arthur said, looking scandalized. “How would that reflect on the company?”

“How did my hat reflect on Camelot?” Merlin exclaimed.

“It was the servant’s livery!” Arthur shot back.

“Then why was I the only one wearing it?”

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it again, glaring. “I am the king of Camelot and I don’t have to answer to the likes of you.”

“We’re back to that, are we?” Merlin said with a smirk, knowing he’d won.

“No, it’s simply the truth,” Arthur said, turning his nose up in what he thought was a noble fashion. Unfortunately, it only made Merlin dissolve into giggles. Arthur glared helplessly at Merlin, but Merlin just laughed harder.

\--

The limo pulled up in front of Freya’s block of flats where she was standing just inside the door waiting. She hurried to the door and slid in beside Merlin in the backseat.

“You look lovely,” Merlin said when Freya was settled.

“Thank you,” Freya replied, offering Merlin a bright smile. “You don’t look so bad yourself. I love the tie,” she teased.

Merlin laughed. “It is quite a lovely tie,” he admitted.

“Hello, Freya,” Arthur said from the rear facing seats across from Merlin.

“Arthur,” Freya said, giving him a warm smile. “How are you?”

“Good,” Arthur replied. “A little disappointed I got roped into going to this party.”

“I know the feeling. Unfortunately I never have an excuse thanks to this one,” she said, poking Merlin’s shoulder.

“It comes with the job, I’m afraid,” Merlin said, heaving a put upon sigh. “You both signed up for it. Not to mention are getting paid for it.”

“All right, all right,” Freya conceded, patting Merlin’s arm. “We’ll stop complaining.”

Merlin just grinned.

\--

Upon arriving at the party, Freya and Merlin were whisked away to network with the guests – practically all potential clients. With an apologetic look over his shoulder at Arthur, Merlin was swallowed by the crowd, leaving Arthur to stand around twiddling his thumbs.

Arthur watched for a while as Merlin made his way around the room, naturally charming all the guests just by being himself.

After a while, Arthur began to wander around, surreptitiously looking for familiar faces. When he spotted a small group of Camelot Marketing’s employees, he hurried over, joining the group including Leon, Gwaine, Lance, Morgana, and Gwen. Arthur took a deep breath before diving in, plastering a smile on his face.

“Hello,” he said, trying for the same kind of charm he used on visiting noblewomen.

“Hi,” Morgana said unenthusiastically before turning away to speak to the rest of the group.

“Hi, Arthur,” Gwen said warmly. “Did you lose Merlin and Freya?”

“Afraid so,” Arthur replied, slightly relieved that someone was speaking to him.

“It tends to happen at these functions,” Gwen said sympathetically. “You’re welcome to join us.”

“Yes, please feel free to join us,” Lance chimed in, shooting Arthur a small, welcoming smile.

Arthur stuck with them for the rest of the night, feeling slightly less alone, but knowing he was still an outsider in this group of friends. As much as Gwen and Lance tried to include him, the rest of the group remained as unwelcoming as ever.

\--

Merlin found himself making his way around the room surprisingly easily. Thus far, he’d been able to recall everyone from the long list of names he’d been given with Freya only stepping in once or twice to remind him of a last name. It seemed that the people he was meeting were all instantly charmed by him, making Merlin breathe a mental sigh of relief. He had been terrified that he would mess up the company by being as incompetent as Arthur tended to call him.

“Mr. Kilgharrah!” Merlin greeted, offering his hand to shake.

“Mr. Emrys,” Kilgharrah said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Please, Merlin’s fine,” Merlin was quick to correct. “My father is very pleased you’ve signed with Camelot Marketing. We won’t disappoint.”

“I should hope not,” Kilgharrah said gruffly. “I’m giving your company quite an important product to market.”

“We’ve put our very best team on it,” Merlin promised.

“Good,” Kilgharrah said, looking satisfied. “Now where is your father? I have yet to speak with him tonight.”

Merlin peered around the room. “By the buffet table. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Kilgharrah.”

“You as well.”

After Kilgharrah disappeared into the crowd, Merlin turned to Freya with wide eyes and whispered, “Thank god that went well. I was terrified I was going to mess up.”

“You’re always so worried, Merlin. You know you always charm everyone at these parties,” Freya reassured him. “There’s Bayard. Go talk to him about the pitch!”

\--

"Merlin, are you coming?" Arthur asked, sticking his head into Merlin's office.

Merlin was practically sprawled over his desk, two seconds away from banging his head on the wood. He looked up at Arthur blearily, then put his head back down. "No," Merlin said, voice muffled by the papers under his face.

"Haven't figure out the Bayard presentation yet?" Arthur asked sympathetically.

"No," Merlin groaned. "I didn't like him in Camelot, and I still don't like him here. He's horrible to work with and he won't sign anything. I don't know how I'm going to pitch it to him tomorrow so he'll sign with us."

"Do you want me to stay?"

"It's fine. Go home. I've got Freya to help me."

Merlin heard a kind of choked off squawk come from Arthur. He lifted his head to see a funny look on Arthur's face. "What?"

"Nothing," Arthur said in a strangled tone. "Are you sure you don't need my help? You can send Freya home and let the woman get some sleep. She's gotten even less rest than you this past week."

Merlin considered it for a moment, but shook his head. "Freya knows the contract better. As bad as I feel for keeping her here, I do actually need her. One more night, right?" Merlin tried to crack a smile, knowing he failed at Arthur's wince.

"You look terrible. Try to get some sleep tonight," Arthur said, reaching over to squeeze Merlin's shoulder, hand lingering a few seconds longer than Merlin expected. Merlin gave a contented sigh at the contact, letting his eyes flutter closed. When he opened them again, the strange look was back on Arthur's face.

Before he had a chance to ask, Arthur spoke. "I'll be off then?"

"Yeah, go on," Merlin said wearily. "Send Freya in, won't you?"

“Sure,” Arthur said. “See you at home.” Moments after Arthur disappeared, Freya was at Merlin’s side with an armful of papers, rattling off facts about Bayard’s company and their product.

They spent most of the night locked in Merlin’s office, debating the merits of one pitch over another. By the time they were finished, it was four a.m. and both Merlin and Freya were half delirious with sleep deprivation. By this point, they were both sprawled on the floor, mostly on top of each other, papers covering the carpet.

“We’re done!” Merlin exclaimed giddily, grabbing a handful of papers and tossing them in the air, watching them flutter to the ground with avid interest.

It was a testament to how tired Freya was that she giggled instead of reprimanding Merlin for messing up their hard work. “Yes!” she cheered, throwing her arms around Merlin’s shoulders, their combined weight making them collapse to the floor, still giggling maniacally.

Freya propped herself up on her elbows, peering into Merlin’s face. “You look funny,” she commented.

“You look pretty funny too,” Merlin shot back, tucking a strand of hair behind Freya’s ear, giving her a fond smile.

The next thing they knew, Merlin and Freya were making out like teenagers, rolling around on the floor together, thoroughly wrinkling their papers, giggling madly all the while. The kissing came to an abrupt halt when Merlin’s head crashed into the side of his desk.

“Ow,” Merlin complained, rubbing the back of his head. Freya just giggled, patting Merlin’s arm consolingly. Merlin shot her a grin. Merlin blinked and the next time he opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through his windows and Freya was fast asleep on his chest, head tucked under his chin.

“Oh god,” Merlin gasped, sitting up abruptly dislodging Freya from his chest, where she crashed to the ground with a disgruntled yelp.

“Merlin!” she exclaimed, irritated, when she saw Merlin sitting beside her. At once, they both froze, memories from the night before flooding back.

“Why don’t you… er… go home and change,” Freya suggested, face flushing red as a tomato. “I can sort all this out for you.”

“N-No, I should take care of this. I’ve kept you up all night,” Merlin said, then flushed darker at the implication in his words.

“I’m your PA, so do as I say,” Freya replied, already kneeling to gather the papers around them.

Unable to come up with a coherent response, Merlin fled.

\--

At six in the morning, Merlin came back banging into his and Arthur’s flat. Hearing the racket, Arthur poked his head out from his own bedroom and watched as Merlin darted back and forth in the flat, running between his bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen as he changed into a more presentable suit, cleaned up, and made some toast. Staring at the whirlwind of activity, Arthur didn’t quite know how to ask what was going on. The few times he’d tried, Merlin just breezed past him into another room, not giving Arthur the chance to open his mouth.

Within half an hour, Merlin was out the door again, giving not even a glance in Arthur’s direction. Arthur was left at a loss and a bit hurt at not even being acknowledged. Merlin had been coming back late for the past week, but he always had time to shoot Arthur a smile at the very least before he disappeared into his bedroom to catch a few winks of sleep.

When Arthur got into the office, he listened to the sounds of Merlin and Freya bustling around in Merlin’s office, still going over the pitch to Bayard to advertise his newest high end gift idea of well packaged wine and wine glasses.

As soon as Arthur got the call that Bayard had arrived, he knocked on Merlin’s open door and said, “Bayard’s waiting in conference room A. Ready?”

Merlin and Freya both looked extremely flushed, but Arthur attributed it to their nerves and lack of sleep. They exchanged a quick glance and Freya nodded slightly, immediately gathering up papers while Merlin did a quick check on their powerpoint presentation before pulling out the flash drive.

Arthur just watched, feeling a bit useless, as Merlin and Freya efficiently packaged their materials into one folder and Freya smoothed out the wrinkles in Merlin’s suit, making him look presentable.

As they walked past, Arthur squeezed Merlin’s shoulder gently and said, “Good luck. You’ll be great.”

He received a grateful smile in return, the corners of Merlin’s eyes crinkling in a way that Arthur couldn’t help but find adorable.

\--

“I can’t believe we did it,” Merlin gasped when he collapsed back in his desk chair in his office.

“I know!” Freya exclaimed. “We spent so much time preparing that pitch that if it crashed and burned, I think I would have to cry.”

“Forget crying,” Merlin scoffed. “I think I’d have to go jump off a cliff. That thing took over my life.”

“But it wasn’t all bad, was it?” Freya asked tentatively, not meeting Merlin’s gaze.

Hearing the different tone in her voice, Merlin blushed, remembering what had happened the night before. “No, it wasn’t all bad. Not at all,” Merlin admitted. “In fact, there are some parts I wouldn’t mind repeating.”

“Really?” Freya asked, darting a glance at Merlin then ducking her head quickly.

“Yeah,” Merlin replied softly. “Freya?”

“Yes?”

“Since we’re on the topic and all…” Merlin stammered. “Would you – sometime – whenever you’re free – want to – er – go out for a drink sometime?”

“I’d love to,” Freya said shyly.

Merlin swore his grin lit up the entire office.

\--

Arthur was sitting at his desk, packing up his things when Merlin stepped out of his office, Freya right behind him. Arthur allowed himself a small smile, having decided that today would be the day he told Merlin about the rumors about them running rampant through the office. If Merlin took the news well, perhaps he wouldn’t be averse to Arthur’s newly discovered feelings for him.

Arthur stood beside his desk, briefcase in hand, waiting as patiently as he could for Merlin to come over so they could go home. Then Merlin did the last thing he expected.

He kissed Freya. It was a quick peck on the lips, but the affection was clear.

Arthur dropped his briefcase on his toe with a muffled “ow.” Merlin hurried over to him, taking Arthur by the shoulders, asking him worriedly if he was okay. All Arthur could concentrate on was the tiny furrow of concern between Merlin’s brows and the movement of Merlin’s lips, forming words Arthur couldn’t hear over the pounding in his head.

“-thur! Arthur!”

“What?” Arthur said blankly.

“Are you okay? You haven’t blinked for the past three minutes.” Merlin peered into Arthur’s face worriedly.

“Fine,” Arthur said mechanically, ignoring the grittiness in his eyes in favor of staring at the light smear of lip gloss on Merlin’s lips, expression souring.

Merlin gave him a skeptical look but didn’t ask further. He picked up Arthur’s briefcase for him and took his arm, pulling him toward the elevator. Just before they stepped in, Merlin turned and waved at Freya. Arthur looked away when Freya’s face melted into a besotted smile.

The moment the door to their flat was closed and locked, Merlin turned to Arthur, asking bluntly, “Is this about Freya?”

Arthur froze, unable to meet Merlin’s gaze. “What are you talking about?” Arthur croaked, suddenly terrified that Merlin knew his secret.

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you about her?”

“No,” Arthur said shortly. “I just… didn’t realize you two were quite that close.”

“It’s a bit complicated,” Merlin said tiredly, running his fingers through his hair.

“Isn’t everything with you,” Arthur said dryly.

Merlin shot Arthur a frustrated look. “Apparently she’s liked me for quite a while,” Merlin admitted.

“Following that logic, I should have kissed all the serving girls in Camelot.”

“Don’t be a prat. They’re not all in love with you,” Merlin automatically shot back.

“How would you know? Kissed some, have you?” Arthur said sourly.

“No, as a matter of fact, I haven’t. But that’s not the reason I like her,” Merlin said.

Arthur didn’t speak, just waited for Merlin to continue.

“Freya and I… we knew each other in Camelot.” That got Arthur’s attention. He swung around to stare at Merlin with wide eyes, taking in Merlin’s helpless look, and sat on the sofa, gesturing for Merlin to continue.

Merlin nodded gratefully and sat across from Arthur on the coffee table. “It’s a bit of a long story, but we met in Camelot when I helped her out of a rough spot. We’d only known each other for a few days, but I was – “ Merlin stuttered a bit at this point, “I was planning to leave Camelot with her,” he finished quietly.

Arthur didn’t look up, afraid of what Merlin would see in his eyes. “Why did you stay?” Arthur whispered.

“She died,” Merlin said, voice breaking.

“Oh.” Arthur’s heart sank. How could he compete with that? He took a couple of deep breaths before looking up at Merlin again. He offered Merlin a brittle smile, grateful he didn’t seem to see Arthur’s true emotions through his haze of bitter memories. “I’m glad you found her again.”

Merlin brightened immediately. “Thanks. So am I.”

“Well, I’m headed to bed. I’m exhausted,” Arthur declared, attempting to make his escape.

“Don’t you want dinner? We can get Indian! I know how much you love Chicken Tikka Masala,” Merlin called after him.

“I’m fine,” Arthur said wearily. “I’m just really tired, Merlin, all right?”

“Oh. Okay,” Merlin replied, sounding hurt. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Arthur sighed, not knowing how to and not really wanting at the moment to make Merlin feel better, despite the guilt clawing in his gut.

The next day at the office, Arthur found himself the subject of endless consoling glances. People who usually barely tolerated him came up to him that day, patting him on the shoulder sympathetically. With a sinking feeling, he realized they all thought that Merlin had tossed him aside in favor of the far gentler and kinder Freya. Every time he left his desk, upon his return, he would find cups of coffee waiting for him or little slips of paper with encouraging messages. The general consensus was clearly that Merlin was the best thing that would happen to Arthur and that while they still loved Merlin unconditionally, they felt bad for Arthur for having lost such a wonderful man.

Arthur didn’t join Merlin in his office that day. To Arthur’s dismay, it seemed as if Merlin didn’t even notice the difference. Freya was in and out of Merlin’s office, lingering longer than usual. Arthur stayed stiffly at his desk beside Merlin’s wide open door, listening to sounds of chattering and laughter coming from the couple. His heart clenched every time Merlin’s laughter rang out, wanting desperately to be the one to give him that happiness.

Now that Arthur could actually competently do his job, he had no excuse to barge into Merlin’s office and demand things of him. Merlin had never had any reservations on encroaching on Arthur’s privacy, but Arthur was too scared of what kind of scene he might find if he turned around to seriously consider going back to Merlin’s office. Logically, he knew that Merlin and Freya would stay professional while the door was open, but he knew how much Merlin could say in a single glance. He dreaded the day that Merlin’s office door would close with Merlin and Freya on one side and Arthur on the other, with no choice but to sit and hope he wouldn’t hear anything he didn’t want to.

But that day never came. Merlin’s office door never shut with only him and Freya inside, not like it had when Merlin and Arthur were working together in there. Merlin kept his public displays of affection to a quick kiss before leaving the office with Arthur at his side. Arthur knew Merlin and Freya went out for drinks or dinner sometimes, but Freya never stayed the night in their flat, and Merlin came home every night. It was puzzling to Arthur, but he was grateful all the same.

Merlin and Freya went out for drinks frequently, and to Arthur’s great surprise, they invited him to join them almost every time. He always wanted to ask Merlin why he basically had a standing invitation, but never screwed up the courage to do so, always afraid that if he asked, he wouldn’t be invited the next time. So he sat through all their pub visits, listening to Merlin and Freya flirt shyly with each other while still trying to include him in their conversation. It got to the point where Arthur began to get used to their strange dynamic, only jarred out of it when Merlin and Freya went out for dinner alone.

To Arthur, the only good thing that came out of Merlin and Freya’s relationship was the relationships he began to build with his co-workers. Thanks to everyone’s beliefs that Arthur and Merlin had been together in some way before Merlin and Freya got together, they started being kinder to Arthur, and Arthur made a conscious effort to talk to the people around the office more. Slowly, he formed some kind of camaraderie with the people he used to know in Camelot, chatting or getting lunch occasionally with Leon, Lance, Gwaine, Elyan, and Percival. He still had a bit of a rocky relationship with Morgana, but the person Arthur got on the best with was Gwen.

It was strange. In Camelot, Arthur fancied himself in love with Gwen, but coming here none of that attraction surfaced. Instead, there was just this lingering warmth that made him comfortable with Gwen in a way that he wasn’t with any of his other co-workers. It was only thanks to Gwen that Arthur got through the six months of Merlin and Freya’s relationship.

When Arthur decided he wanted to learn to cook, it was Gwen who taught him, holding his hand through the entire process and making sure he wouldn’t set the kitchen on fire the moment he turned on the stove. In those six months without Merlin at his side day and night, Arthur surprised himself with how well he could manage in this world he still wasn’t quite used to. But it was getting easier knowing that he didn’t need to rely on Merlin for everything.

Then Merlin and Freya’s six month anniversary rolled around.

And Merlin didn’t come home that night.

\--

“Hi,” Merlin said, swooping down to kiss Freya on the cheek as he presented her with a single red rose in a bouquet of lavender.

“Oh, Merlin,” Freya said, eyes shining. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“They reminded me of you,” Merlin said, eyes soft with affection.

Freya blushed and giggled in response.

“Come on,” Merlin declared. “I’m taking you somewhere fancy tonight.”

“Merlin, you shouldn’t have!” Freya said, eyes widening as she saw candlelight and luxurious décor in the restaurant.

“I wanted to. I’m allowed to spoil my girlfriend sometimes, aren’t I?” Merlin asked, eyes twinkling.

Freya just shook her head and smiled at Merlin brightly.

After dinner, Merlin took Freya’s hand and took her for a walk around the park.

“Dinner was lovely, Merlin,” Freya said, gazing at Merlin affectionately.

“I’m glad you liked it. I wanted everything to be perfect,” Merlin said softly.

“Ever the charmer, you,” Freya teased.

As they took a seat on a park bench, Freya looked up at the stars, murmuring, “It’s a lovely night. So clear and bright for this time of year.”

“Not nearly as lovely as you,” Merlin murmured.

“Are you trying to be a walking cliché tonight or something?” Freya asked, softening her words with a smile and a kiss. “The candle lit dinner, a walk in the park, and now your cheesy lines.”

“I can’t help it if they’re true,” Merlin replied cheekily.

Freya laughed. “I like it when you’re cheeky,” she murmured, leaning in to kiss Merlin.

Merlin met her half way. The kiss started out chaste, but quickly turned heated. When they pulled apart, Freya said breathlessly, “Come home with me.”

“What?” Merlin asked, not certain he heard her right.

“Come home with me,” Freya repeated, pressing a kiss close to Merlin’s ear, making his eyelids flutter. “Please?”

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes,” Merlin agreed, pressing more kisses to Freya’s lips, reveling in her happy laugh.

Quickly Merlin called the car around and told the driver to take them to Freya’s house. As Freya was cuddling up to him in the car, Merlin made sure to pull out his phone and send a quick text to Arthur not to expect him that night before turning his full attention to the woman in his arms.

\--

Arthur’s phone buzzed. Arthur glanced at it in surprise when he saw Merlin’s name flash on the screen. He opened the text and his heart sank. _Staying with Freya. Don’t wait up. ;)_

Arthur promptly threw the phone across the room and buried his face in a pillow. Much later, when Arthur got up to collect his phone, he dialed Gwen’s number and spent the rest of the night whining to her on the phone about lost chances, idiot friends, and stupid expectations.

\--

The next night, Arthur dragged Gwen to the pub with him with the sole intention of getting pissed. When things started getting out of hand, Gwen quietly slipped away to call Merlin.

“Merlin?” Gwen shouted into the phone receiver.

“Gwen?” Merlin asked, surprised. “Are you calling me from a pub?”

“Yes, yes, but never mind that. Look, I’m here with Arthur. Can you come get him? I don’t think I’ll be able to get him to leave before he passes out drunk.”

“I – of course. I’ll ask questions later,” Merlin agreed. “Where are you?”

“At The King’s Arms. Just… get here soon, okay?” Gwen said nervously, watching helplessly as women and men alike started draping themselves over Arthur in her absence.

“As soon as I can,” Merlin promised and hung up.

Gwen hurried back to Arthur as soon as her phone was put away. “Arthur!” she called. “Come on. Merlin’s coming soon. Don’t you want to see Merlin?”

“Who’s Merlin?” one of the guys purred. “Your boyfriend?”

“I wish,” Arthur grumbled, taking another swig of beer. “He’s an idiot. With those stupid ears and those fucking cheekbones and those gorgeous eyes, and – “ Another swig of beer.

“Why don’t you let me help you forget all about him,” the guy said, trying to drape himself more fully over Arthur’s back as his hands started to roam.

“I wish I could forget about him,” Arthur complained. “You get it, don’t you, Gwen?” Arthur asked.

“Yes, yes, of course I get it, Arthur. So listen to me and give me your beer.”

“Don’t listen to her, sweetheart,” the guy purred. “Come with me and we’ll have a lot more fun than you’re having here.”

Arthur was hardly hearing any of it, so focused on grumbling about Merlin that he barely even registered what was going on around him until Merlin’s voice cut through the noise.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Merlin growled. “Get off him.”

“Whoa, are you Merlin?” the guy asked, untangling himself from Arthur and promptly sidling over to Merlin.

“I am,” Merlin said coldly.

“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” the guy purred, clinging to Merlin and trying to press himself against him.

Before Merlin could react, there came a growl from behind him as Arthur appeared and yanked him away from Merlin. “Stay away from him,” Arthur snapped.

“I got the message,” the guy exclaimed, holding his hands palms up in surrender. “I’m outta here.”

“Come on, Arthur. We’re leaving,” Merlin said curtly, taking Arthur’s arm with surprising gentleness and tugged him toward the door. Arthur followed obediently, looking at Merlin with a besotted look on his face.

Gwen trailed behind watching the entire exchange, shaking her head at how oblivious Merlin and Arthur both were.

On the car ride home, Merlin dropped Gwen off at her flat first before driving back to his and Arthur’s. Arthur fell asleep the moment he got in the car, so Merlin could safely mutter to himself in peace.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Merlin muttered under his breath. Why did he ever think he could forget about his feelings for Arthur? Seeing that guy all over Arthur made something snap within Merlin. He’d never felt a surge of jealousy that powerful before, despite the number of times he’d seen men hitting on Freya. Merlin had hoped what he had with Freya would be enough. He almost convinced himself it was. It was enough for him to want to leave Camelot once upon a time. But it wasn’t enough anymore. And he was fool to try and tell himself that it was. He had to choose between the two people in his heart. Merlin glanced at Arthur’s sleeping form sprawled on the seat beside him and felt a smile creep across his face involuntarily. Merlin sighed. At the end of the day, it really was no choice at all.

\--

"Arthur?" Merlin called as he opened the door to their flat. He heard a distant grumbling coming from the living room and quickly followed the sound to investigate. To his shock, Merlin found Arthur hanging over the couch backwards, beer bottle in his hand. Arthur was waving the bottle about, mumbling about something to do with "Father," "stupid," and "why me?"

When Arthur spotted Merlin, his face broke into a wide grin. "Mer'in!" he shouted, slurring his words. Then Arthur frowned. "What are you doing here?"

Merlin blinked in confusion, disoriented by the sudden change in Arthur's attitude. "I live here?"

"But you're - you're s'pposed to be out," Arthur said, gesturing with the beer bottle. "Out with - with that girl."

"I was," Merlin said slowly, getting more and more worried about Arthur's mental state. He'd never seen Arthur this drunk. "It's midnight."

Arthur just humphed and tried to turn his back on Merlin, failing miserably.

Merlin picked his way toward the couch through the scattered beer bottles on the ground, counting at least six lying about. "Arthur," Merlin said soothingly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, obviously."

"Obviously," Merlin said dryly, gently trying to tug the bottle out of Arthur's hand. Arthur hugged it to his chest and Merlin held up both hands, palms up in a gesture of peace. Sending Merlin a suspicious look, Arthur relaxed, beginning to wave the bottle about again. Merlin wondered what Arthur thought he was doing with the bottle, feeling both amused and concerned.

"C'mon, Arthur," Merlin cajoled. "Why are you drinking?"

"Because you," Arthur said, pausing dramatically, "are an idiot."

"That's never driven you to drink before. What's so different about my idiocy this time?" Merlin asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, eyeing the beer bottle as he did so.

"You're all - good at what you do," Arthur complained.

"Funny, I never thought I'd hear you complain about me being _good_ at my job."

"But you learned how to do it all. And I'm just your secretary. Might as well be your manservant."

"Ah. Is that what this is about?" Merlin said, smiling ruefully.

"Not really," Arthur answered, turning a sincere gaze on Merlin.

Merlin felt thrown again. "Then... what are you on about?"

The open look dropped off Arthur's face. His expression darkened, and then he lifted his head and took another swig of his beer, sloshing it all down his front, the couch, and the carpet. Merlin thought it was a miracle he didn't choke. When the bottle left his lips, Arthur grumbled, "Your father loves you."

 _Oh_ , Merlin thought, feeling a bit stupid for not having seen it before. "Your father loves you too," he said gently.

Arthur barked a laugh. "Not like yours loves you," Arthur replied, suddenly looking a lot more sober than before.

Merlin lunged forward and yanked the bottle from Arthur's hand, ignoring his feeble protests and placing it on the end table. "Is that why you've been so quiet every time my father came by?"

"Yes," Arthur admitted reluctantly. "He's so... nice. And he's always got a kind word for you. Even for me."

"Our fathers are different, Arthur. There's nothing wrong with that," Merlin said softly even though he knew that Uther's lack of affection had made a deep indelible mark on Arthur's heart.

"It's not just that," Arthur mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Your father is always bragging about you to everyone. I was lucky if my father even said 'well done.'"

Merlin didn't respond, not knowing how he could respond to something like that.

"I'm sorry," Merlin finally said.

Arthur gave a hollow laugh. "Why? You're the one with the loving father."

"Because you deserve that too," Merlin said honestly.

Arthur snorted. "It's probably my fault."

"What - "

Arthur didn't let Merlin finish, just plowed forward. "Yeah, it's definitely my fault. It's because of me he lost my mother, after all. I know he hates me for it. Oh, I know he doesn't want me to die, but when is he ever not disappointed in me? My entire life is about pleasing him. Tournaments? I win just so he'll give me that little pat on the shoulder. And he doesn't even know. He doesn't even know the half of it. Maybe if my mother hadn't died. Maybe if I were a better prince, a better fighter, a better king... hell, a better _son_ he'd see someone to be proud of."

"Arthur..." Merlin said. "There's no better king than you."

Arthur turned to Merlin and gave him a small smile. "I know you think that. You've always thought that. You believe in me when I don't believe in myself. How do you do it?"

"I just... know," Merlin said weakly.

"I wish I could 'just know'," Arthur said wistfully.

"Your people know. That's what matters."

"My people," Arthur whispered. "God, I don't have people anymore. No one here likes me, Merlin," Arthur practically whined.

"People like you!" Merlin protested, wincing as he knew he was lying.

"They do, do they?" Arthur asked dryly. "Is that why they all go out of their way to avoid talking to me?"

"Arthur... you come off a bit..."

"Of a prat?" Arthur finished for him.

"Well... yes," Merlin admitted.

"It never made a difference before," Arthur said. "People loved me in Camelot. They knew I loved them and that I would lay down my life for them. There's no one to defend anymore. No one cares if I can win a tourney. No one cares if I won't strike a defenseless man. Honor, strength – none of that matters anymore. What do I have without those, Merlin?"

"You have a good heart," Merlin said firmly. "That's what makes you a good king and a good fighter. You care about each and every person around you. If you let our coworkers see that, they would love you too."

"No, they wouldn't," Arthur said. "They'll never love me the way I was loved in Camelot."

"No, of course they wouldn't," Merlin said, exasperated. "You're never going to find that kind of admiration unless you're their ruler. But that's not the only way of connecting with others, Arthur. You can make friends with them. Just talk to them. And for heaven's sake, don't insult them."

"You don't get it, Merlin," Arthur said, shaking his head and staring at the blank TV screen. "People love you because you've got that vulnerable look about you."

"Hey!"

Arthur waved his hand in a kind of apology. "People want to help you. They want to protect you. And you've got that smile and those ears. Damn your ears," Arthur muttered.

"What's wrong with my ears?" Merlin said defensively, fingering the shell of an ear gingerly.

Arthur stared, eyes tracking the stroking movement. "Nothing," he finally said, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back. "Absolutely nothing. But people are just drawn to you. Like moths to a flame. But I'm prickly. I never knew that before because no one ever told me that. I know you told me that, but you don't count. You can be pretty prickly too when you want to be. People don't want to get near me because I'm not nice to them. I don't know how to be _nice_. I know how to be a prince. A king. A knight. I know how to play a part, but I don't know how to play 'me'."

Merlin was at a loss for words. He'd never envied Arthur's station, but he'd never realized how many strings came with being a king. He'd never realized that Arthur acted like a king because that was all he knew how to be.

"Come on," Merlin murmured, standing and helping Arthur up. "Let's get you to bed."

Arthur obeyed meekly, seeming completely drained after his tirade. Merlin settled Arthur on his bed and hurried to get him a few glasses of water. When he returned, he found Arthur still sitting where he left him, looking lost and staring at Merlin with big, sad eyes.

"Oh, Arthur," Merlin whispered, taking Arthur's hand and wrapping it around the glass. He brought the glass to Arthur's lips and said, "Drink." Obediently, Arthur drank the first glass and then a second. Then Merlin helped Arthur into his pajamas and tucked him in, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate than it ever had in Camelot after months of not performing these duties.

"Good night," Merlin murmured, stroking Arthur's hair briefly before leaving the room, closing the door behind himself with a quiet click.

\--

Arthur woke with a pounding head.

The room was bright. Far, far too bright. Arthur groaned as he turned away from the light, cracking open his eyes and finding a bottle of medicine with a note propped on it on his bedside table.

 _Drink up,_ the note said, in Merlin's untidy scrawl. Arthur eyed the bottle blearily before tossing the entire concoction down his throat, wincing at the burn. Gaius' remedies never changed it seemed.

Feeling the pounding in his head recede just a bit, Arthur stumbled out of bed, barely managing to avoid crashing into the closed door before he pulled it open and wobbled into the hallway. The smell of bacon and eggs wafted over to him and he sighed contentedly. He followed the scent to the kitchen and found Merlin standing at the stove, humming tunelessly and flipping a couple pieces of bacon.

All at once, the events of the night before hit Arthur. A flush quickly spread over Arthur's cheeks as he remembered all the whining he did about his father and his own inability to be his own person. It was mortifying that he'd poured out all his sorrows to Merlin. He could only thank the heavens that he hadn't managed to blurt out his feelings for Merlin while he was at it.

At that moment, Merlin turned around, frying pan in his hand as he prepared to put the bacon on their plates.

"Arthur," Merlin said brightly, giving him a soft smile, his entire face lighting up with it.

Arthur suddenly had to swallow past the lump in his throat, staring helplessly at Merlin. It was as if he was looking at his entire world in a neat little package, and that neat little package was Merlin. Merlin with his ears and his elbows and his contagious smiles. Merlin with his taunts and his teasing and his little touches that left Arthur tingling for the rest of the day. He already knew that he wanted Merlin, but he hadn't realized just how far he'd fallen until he saw Merlin standing in the kitchen, cooking his breakfast, the early morning sun lighting him from the back. It was domestic in a way Arthur had never dreamed of having. In a way that Arthur had never known he could have. Because, now, in that moment, Arthur had never wanted anything more than he wanted Merlin. For the first time, Arthur knew what love felt like.

 

Then Merlin was speaking again. "Arthur? Arthur, it'll be fine, you'll see. We'll fix it. We'll fix everything together." And then he gave Arthur another one of those genuine smiles that warmed Arthur from the inside out. And Arthur felt himself relax, felt all the stress and mortification just melt out of him because with a few words, it felt as if the load on his shoulders had lifted.

"Okay," Arthur whispered, and sat down.

Merlin's smile widened as he plucked two slices of toast from the toaster and poured them both some coffee before sitting down.

"You'll make someone a good little housewife one day," Arthur teased, feeling lighter than he had in months. Merlin froze, and Arthur quickly backtracked. "Or, you know, make Freya breakfast once in a while, at least."

Merlin didn't meet Arthur's gaze when he said, "Freya and I broke up last night."

Then it was Arthur's turn to freeze. "You broke up?" Arthur echoed.

"Yeah. Split up, not together anymore, however you want to put it," Merlin sighed.

"Why?"

"We just... weren't right for each other."

"Oh, come on," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "You're not giving me that excuse, are you? There's got to be a reason."

"We just did, okay?" Merlin said sharply.

Arthur felt taken aback. "You know you can tell me what happened, Merlin."

"It didn't work out. It wasn't enough. Leave it."

"It wasn't enough?" Arthur tried coaxing.

"No," Merlin said shortly.

"No, it wasn't enough, or no, it was enough?"

"Stop with the questions!" Merlin snapped.

"What happened? Why won't you tell me?"

"Don't you ever know when to give it a rest?"

"But Merlin, I thought you really liked her," Arthur protested even while his heart was rejoicing that Merlin was his again. Wait... his?

"That's it," Merlin said, slamming his fork down and getting up. "I didn't bug you about your drunken fiasco, did I? Now, before you can bug me further, I'm going out." Before Arthur could get another word out, Merlin had disappeared out the door.

\--

Merlin slumped against his own door for a moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets and hurrying outside. He walked aimlessly around London, trying to sort out the mess in his head and his heart. Freya and Arthur both had their own corners. It just so happened that Arthur's corner was less a corner and more... his entire heart.

As he wandered around London, he let his thoughts stray back to his break up with Freya the night before.

_Merlin asked Freya out for drinks after work, telling Arthur he would meet him at home today rather than ride back with him. Arthur had given him a strange, slightly hurt look that Merlin had yet to decipher. Merlin waited in his office, trying to get some extra work done despite the churning in his stomach and his mind._

_At ten past five, Merlin finally mustered up the courage to go to Freya’s office just next door. Merlin knocked hesitantly on the door frame._

_“Freya? Ready to go?”_

_Freya’s head shot up and she gave Merlin a warm smile, making guilt pool in Merlin’s gut. “Of course, just give me a minute to gather my things,” Freya replied, quickly sweeping her Blackberry and a variety of other things Merlin didn’t know why she carried into her bag._

_“To the pub?” Freya asked, joining Merlin at his side and tucking a hand at his elbow._

_Merlin swallowed and smiled as genuinely as he could. “To the pub.”_

_As they walked to the pub just down the street, Freya chattered about her day, starting with the annoying calls she’d received and ending with how pleased she was with the progress she made with her new organization system._

_At a loss for responses, Merlin nodded and made noncommittal noises the entire walk, offering a smile each time Freya looked at him._

_After ordering and settling down in a booth, Merlin attempted to make small talk, but was quickly cut off by Freya. “Merlin, what’s wrong?”_

_Merlin started nervously, taking a generous gulp of his beer. “Why do you think something’s wrong?” Merlin hedged._

_Freya smiled indulgently and put her hand over Merlin’s. “Merlin, darling, I’ve learned to take cues from the different twitches of your eyebrows. I can certainly tell when there’s something you need to say.”_

_“My eyebrows? Really?” Merlin asked, genuinely sidetracked by this new information._

_“Merlin,” Freya said sternly._

_“Okay, there is something I need to talk to you about,” Merlin said with a sigh. “I just don’t know how to say it without hurting you.”_

_Immediately, Freya pulled her hand away. Merlin looked up guiltily, even as he missed the warmth of Freya’s hand on his own._

_“Just spit it out,” Freya said softly. “I promise I can handle it.”_

_“I have no doubt of that,” Merlin said with a crooked smile. “You’re stronger than anyone gives you credit for, you know?”_

_Freya relaxed a little, a smile playing at the corners of her lips despite the wary look in her eyes. “You flatterer,” Freya teased. “Even when you’re being all shifty, you still know how to flatter a girl.”_

_“I only speak the truth,” Merlin said honestly, ducking his head in embarrassment._

_Freya huffed a laugh. “That’s what makes it worse.”_

_Merlin gave Freya a wide eyed look. “How could that make it worse? I’m not lying.”_

_Freya shook her head and gave Merlin a look like he was a cute puppy she’d like to pet. “Such a charmer, you. It – “ Freya cut herself off and narrowed her eyes at Merlin. “Hey,” she protested, jabbing a finger in Merlin’s direction. “We were having a different discussion. Stop changing the subject. I can see right through you.”_

_Merlin sighed. “Freya,” he began gently, then stopped, still at a loss for words._

_“I thought we established that I can handle whatever it is. Just say it, darling,” Freya said encouragingly._

_Merlin looked up at her through his lashes, realizing with a jolt that Freya knew what he was about to say. She hadn’t stayed his P.A. for three years by taking things as they came. She was always three steps ahead of him, and as things stood, she had already anticipated the words about to spill from his mouth._

_“I really do care for you, you know,” Merlin said. “A lot. I know I could love you if things were different.”_

_Freya just smiled sadly and nodded as if she could hear the first half of the thought Merlin hadn’t articulated. “I know, Merlin,” Freya whispered. “I know.”_

_“But things aren’t different. And as much as I care for you, there’s someone else in my heart who’s never going to go away.”_

_“It’s Arthur, isn’t it?” Freya asked, gently taking Merlin’s hand and prying his fingers off the neck of the beer bottle in his hand._

_Merlin startled so badly that the beer sloshed all over the table. He and Freya scrambled to mop up the spill before it could make its way off the table. “H-How did you know?” Merlin stammered, avoiding Freya’s gaze._

_Freya laughed a little. “Oh, Merlin,” she said fondly. “I’ve always known. I’ve known since the first day I saw you two together. It’s as clear as day. You’re the only one who never saw it.”_

_“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Merlin asked, mystified._

_“I won’t lie and say I wasn’t surprised when you asked,” Freya admitted. “Because I was shocked. After all that time you two spent locked in your office, I thought for sure that something was going on. But honestly, it was a bit of a wish come true. I had a crush on you for years. Something else you never noticed, Mr. Oblivious.” Freya made a face at Merlin. “And I hoped that if you felt something for me, maybe it would turn into more given the chance.”_

_Merlin felt awful. Freya didn’t deserve any of this. “I’m so sorry, Freya. I wish there was more I could offer you. I do care about you a great deal. I never lied about any of it. But… what I feel for Arthur is something I can’t even put into words. I’m so so sorry for wasting so much of your time.”_

_Freya shook her head and smiled at Merlin. “I’m not going to pretend this break up doesn’t hurt, but I just want you to be happy, Merlin. It’s okay if your happiness can’t be found with me.” Freya leaned over and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s cheek. “I think I’m going to head out. It’s a lot to take in for one day. Even if I saw it coming.”_

_Merlin nodded, giving Freya what amounted to a kicked puppy look. Freya rolled her eyes. “God, how can anyone hold a grudge against you? You’re far too charming for your own good, Merlin Emrys.” Freya patted Merlin’s hand comfortingly and said, “I’ll see you at work on Monday,” before walking away._

_Merlin stared after her, wondering if he’d just given up what was arguably the best thing that ever happened to him for something he could never have._

Merlin slumped against the brick wall beside him, gazing out at London inattentively. Now he just felt drained. Breaking up with Freya had almost been harder than letting her go the first time. In Camelot, Merlin knew she would be happier away from the pain in her life. He had cared about Freya and made sure to stay with her until the end.

He hadn't been lying when he said he could've loved her if only things were different. He loved her in Camelot, and he loved her now. But there had always been Arthur. And nothing and no one compared to Arthur. By this point, it was practically a fact of Merlin's life.

This time, it was all Merlin's fault. Years ago when Merlin met Freya, he had been young. They had both been young. They thought love was everything. He thought the love he had for Freya was enough. But Merlin knew better now. Despite that, he'd stayed with Freya for months, hoping he would be able to find that idealistic idea of love he once held and stop longing for Arthur. But that day never came.

Freya was wonderful. She loved Merlin. She kept him in line. She trusted him. Even while she knew there was only one possible result for their relationship. That was one of things he loved about her. She never stopped hoping. She never stopped loving. And Merlin needed a bit more hope and love in his life. Because wasn't he just the same? He knew there was no happy ending in store for him and Arthur. But that didn't stop him from sticking to Arthur's side and hoping for a bit of affection.

Arthur. Merlin rubbed his hand over his face. He hadn't meant to snap before he left. In fact, he'd like nothing more than to tell Arthur about everything. Not just about Freya, but about his magic. But for the first time, when Merlin didn't open up, Arthur kept prodding instead of punching him on the arm before leaving him to his thoughts. He'd clearly become much too attuned to Merlin's emotions. It got harder and harder to keep secrets from Arthur with each passing day. They had grown much closer living in the same flat and spending their days together as equals. Arthur was learning to be a person instead of a prince. People in the office had even grown a bit fond of him.

After all that, Merlin should've expected Arthur to ask after his break up. It had been unfair for Merlin to snap at Arthur. Reluctantly, Merlin began the walk back to his flat.

\--

"Merlin!" came the shout the moment Merlin stepped through his front door. Within moments, Arthur appeared in front of him, pulling him into a brief but tight hug.

Merlin stood speechless, gaping at Arthur until he blushed and ducked his head. "Hi," Arthur finally said, not meeting Merlin's eyes.

"Um, hi?" Merlin responded.

"I thought you’d left. For good," Arthur said hoarsely.

Merlin laughed. "Arthur, I would never leave you." Merlin had aimed for a teasing tone, but somehow the words came out softer and more sincere than he intended.

Arthur's head immediately snapped up, eyes searching Merlin's face. Before Arthur could respond, Merlin said, "I'm sorry for storming out like that."

Arthur shook his head. "No, don't even mention it. It's fine. I'm just glad you're back. You've never run off like that before. So, let's just not talk about it anymore, right?"

Merlin swallowed. Part of him had been hoping for Arthur to keep pushing so he could just break down and pour his story out. "Right," Merlin said, forcing a smile.

"Good to know you're sticking around," Arthur said quietly. Then he cleared his throat and shot Merlin a lopsided smile. "It's not like I have any other friends."

"People at the office are warming to you!" Merlin protested.

"Sure," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "Only because you're rubbing off on them. Way too in love with you, the lot of them."

Merlin blushed. "They're not," he muttered.

"Oh, aren't they?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "They scramble after you when you pass their desks just for a glance in their direction. I swear even the married women get all doe-eyed around you."

"Jealous?" Merlin teased.

"Not a bit," Arthur snorted.

"Sure," Merlin said, drawing the word out teasingly, giving Arthur an exaggerated wink.

"I'm not!" Arthur yelped. "I can find my own fans, thank you!"

"They're not fans, Arthur," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. "They're just co-workers. There's nothing wrong with having a good relationship with them."

"It's such a good relationship that they all want to get in your pants, Merlin."

Merlin flushed bright red. "Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed, covering his face with a hand. "You don't know that!"

Arthur was about to counter by telling Merlin about the conversation he'd once overhead with the two women in the break room swooning over Merlin. But then he remembered the rest of the conversation and clamped his mouth shut.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked. "Is something wrong?" Arthur glanced at Merlin, taking in the slight flush still left on his cheeks, mind immediately beginning to wander to another way of putting that flush in Merlin's pale cheeks that involved a lot more moaning and a lot less clothing.

"Arthur?" Suddenly, Merlin was a lot closer to Arthur's face, and a certain part of his anatomy was getting too interested for comfort.

"I'm fine!" Arthur squeaked. "I should go do some reading. Drinks tonight?"

"Sure," Merlin replied, mystified.

\--

When Merlin and Arthur arrived at the office the next day, the news of Merlin and Freya's breakup had already spread. Merlin ignored - or was completely oblivious to - the speculative glances thrown his and Arthur's way, while Arthur found himself increasingly desperate to hide in Merlin's office. No one questioned Merlin openly about the status of his and Arthur's relationship, but Arthur's day was filled with innuendo laden conversations and unsubtle elbows in the ribs until Arthur swore he now had bruises up and down his sides. Mercifully, Freya was spared any questioning, having been the one who got the short end of the stick.

Despite the breakup, Merlin and Freya continued their easy relationship in the office, neither missing a beat in their day-to-day tasks. Their normal interactions mystified the rest of the office. But at the same time, rumor around the office was that Merlin and Freya's lack of broken hearts was further proof that they weren't meant to be together (everyone already knew that though) and that Merlin and _Arthur_ were the ones meant to be.

While Merlin was spared all this speculation, Arthur found himself frequently within earshot of discussions of the office betting pool on Merlin and Arthur's relationship. To his horror, he even once overheard his co-workers placing disturbingly detailed bets on when they would finally fuck. In the office, no less!

The moment Arthur heard the words "anyone up for a new round of Merthur bets?" he tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately, he was stuck in the walk in closet that opened into the break room where everyone was gathered.

"Always, Gwaine!" came Gwen's response.

"When do we think all that tension is finally gonna snap and the two of them just start fucking right in the office?" Gwaine said mischievously. Arthur could see in his mind's eye the leer on Gwaine's face, and he slapped a hand over his eyes to try and erase the image.

A chorus of ooh's went up in the break room.

"What? No 'ooh!'" Arthur hissed into the darkness.

Leon was the first to chime in with, "I think it's going to be soon."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and made a mental note to put Leon through extra intense training if they ever got back to Camelot.

"Tell us something we don't know, Leon," came Morgana's voice.

"Okay, fine," Leon replied. "I think it'll happen in the next two weeks. Merlin definitely didn't break up with Freya just for the hell of it. Er... sorry, Freya."

"Don't be sorry," Freya said, chuckling slightly. 

Arthur's eyes widened. _'Freya's part of this?'_ Arthur thought incredulously. 

"I think it's hilarious the way the two of them dance around each other. But I'm going to have to disagree with you, Leon. Having been part of that break up, I don't think Merlin's going to make a move any time soon."

"Why not?" Gwaine whined.

"That's for me to know and you to wonder about, love," Freya replied cheerily.

Freya's words promptly sent Arthur's mind spinning, not daring to hope - but desperately hoping anyway - that Merlin returned his feelings.

"Fine. What's your bet then, _love_?" Gwaine shot back.

"Let me get back to you."

"Well, I have no idea when or how it's going to happen, but," Vivian piped up, "I'm prepared with cameras to get evidence and smelling salts for anyone who faints upon discovering them." Arthur inched away from the break room door, at the wicked tone in Vivian's voice.

"Are you saying they'll do it in full view of the office?" Gwaine asked, tone sounding too interested for Arthur's comfort.

"Oh, it might not be the first time, but I'd bet anything that they'll do it on Arthur's desk at some point."

A collective murmur of agreement went up. The furious scratch of pen on paper was audible in the quiet.

"I've been watching them since the break up and nothing's happened yet," Lance said. "Whenever it happens, I'm betting it won't be for at least three months. Merlin will definitely take Freya's feelings into account."

Another murmur of agreement. More scribbling sounds.

"But you agree that there'll be loud office sex eventually?" Gwaine prompted.

"Oh definitely," Lance replied in a heartbeat.

"That's what I like to hear," Gwaine said.

"Lance agreeing with you or the loud sex?" Morgana teased.

"Both," was Gwaine's snappy retort.

"Both what?" came Merlin's voice.

Arthur froze, heart pounding as he wondered how much Merlin had heard.

"Both... coffee makers need more coffee!" Gwen said hastily.

"Oh. I'll be sure to put in a new work order," Merlin replied. "Why are you all in the break room? Did I miss an email?"

"No, no, no!" came the shout. Arthur swallowed a laugh as he imagined the befuddled look that must be on Merlin's face. "We were just getting back to work," Gwen blurted out. And promptly, Arthur heard the stomp of footsteps racing for their desks.

Arthur held back a snort, and in the next moment, the door to the storage closet swung open.

"Arthur?" Merlin said, staring at Arthur in his hiding place.

"Merlin," Arthur said with as much dignity as he could manage. "What are you doing here?"

"I sent you to find me some new letterhead over an hour ago. I was worried something happened when you didn't come back. Were you hiding?"

"No!" Arthur yelped.

Merlin's eyes softened. "You're really not used to this, are you?"

"Used to what?" Arthur answered, irritated.

"Being part of a crowd. You could've joined everyone in the break room instead of hiding out here," Merlin said encouragingly.

Arthur's eyes widened as he thought back to the conversation. No, he really couldn't, Arthur thought. But he just gave Merlin a feeble, "right," in response.

\--

"Got the email for the company holiday party my father's throwing?" Merlin asked Arthur.

Arthur glanced briefly at Merlin from his perch on Merlin's office couch before pulling up his email.

_You are cordially invited to our Annual Holiday Party._

"Are you and Freya organizing it again?" Arthur asked as he scanned the details of the invitation.

"Not this time," Merlin replied. "Father likes to keep me out of the loop for the company-only parties." Arthur looked up just in time to catch the tail end of Merlin's crinkly-eyed smile.

Tucking away the warm feeling in his chest from Merlin's smile, Arthur asked, "Still need Freya as your date to keep you in line?"

Merlin didn't speak for a bit. The silence lasted long enough for Arthur to stop his work and look up to check on Merlin. To his surprise, Merlin was gazing back at him, a contemplative look in his eye.

"Merlin?"

"You know what?" Merlin said slowly, eyes never leaving Arthur's face. "I don't think I do."

Fighting down shivers from Merlin's intense gaze, Arthur could only say, "Oh really?"

"Really," Merlin said softly. "We can go together."

Arthur's eyes widened at the same moment the words sank in for Merlin. "I-I mean, we can take the same car!" Merlin hastily amended, a dark flush spreading up his neck.

"R-right," Arthur said shakily. "Same car. Good plan."

\--

On the night of the party, Arthur sat staring at his only tux forlornly, wishing he had a better wardrobe. Finally, with a sigh, Arthur put on the tux and the tied his bowtie. The moment felt anticlimactic. He knew it wasn't a date, but he'd be walking into the biggest company party of the year at Merlin's side. And it's not as if he didn't know the rumors around the office. His co-workers were going to have a field day with this.

After stalling another half hour, Arthur left his bedroom and flopped down on their living room couch to watch TV. "Ready when you are!" Arthur called.

Muffled stumbling sounds came from Merlin's bedroom. Arthur rolled his eyes in exasperation. Merlin never changed. "Gimme a bit!" was Merlin's muffled response.

"I know," Arthur muttered under his breath. It's not as if he didn't understand why Merlin needed time to get ready. He was the son of the company owner, it was only fitting that he present himself in the best light. Arthur certainly took his sweet time getting ready when he was representing Camelot as her prince or king. But then there was the bowtie. Merlin couldn't tie a bowtie to save his life. Except he would always insist on trying for a good half hour before he gave up and came to Arthur, crumpled silk in his hand and a defeated look on his face.

Arthur was able to get through a whole episode of Game of Thrones before Merlin appeared beside the couch, obligatory pile of silk in his palm and a kicked puppy look on his face.

"C'mere," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "You're useless with a bowtie. Why do you even try?"

"It's less fiddly than all the ties on your ceremonial shirts," Merlin grumbled. "It's just a piece of silk. I should be able to do it."

"But you can't," Arthur pointed out, smoothing out the silk before standing to loop it around Merlin's neck.

"No. I can't," Merlin admitted grudgingly.

"You budget time into your schedule to _try_ tying your own bowtie before you come to me. Just save yourself the trouble and come straight here."

"I'll get it one day," Merlin said stubbornly.

"Suit yourself," Arthur said with a shrug. "There. It's done. Can we go now?" Arthur patted Merlin's chest lightly under the pretense of examining the bowtie.

"Yes, sire, we can leave," Merlin teased.

\--

As Merlin and Arthur walked into the party together, they were greeted by a series of suggestively raised eyebrows and inquisitive glances that Merlin seemed entirely oblivious to while Arthur squirmed and tried not to blush at his side.

Merlin was quickly roped into conversation after conversation. It seemed every employee of the company wanted a bit of Merlin’s time, and Merlin made time for them all, expressing an interest in all their lives and leaving each person feeling special judging by the looks on everyone’s faces when the conversation ended. Arthur was immensely grateful that Merlin made sure to keep him at his side no matter where he was needed, doing his best to include Arthur in the conversation and doing a surprisingly successful job of it.

As the night went on and Merlin caught several whiffs of a barmaid's apron soaked in ale, he got more and more clingy. By the time ten o'clock rolled around, Merlin was alternating between hanging off Arthur's arm and draping himself over Arthur's back. Arthur had never seen Merlin drunk and was woefully under prepared to handle the way his hands were constantly on Arthur's body. One moment Merlin was smoothing down the lapels of Arthur's jacket, gazing up at him from under his lashes, and the next he was wrapping his arms around Arthur's waist, thumb slipping tantalizingly under Arthur's shirt to brush at skin.

Arthur's solution was to drink. And then he just couldn't stop. The champagne kept coming around, and Arthur kept gulping them down, terrified of the words that might escape if he spoke to Merlin in their inebriated states.

It didn't take long before Merlin was tugging on Arthur's arm, then trailing his fingers down Arthur's arm to curl his fingers around Arthur's. When Merlin tugged and looked back at Arthur with a sweet smile, Arthur was helpless to resist as he trailed after Merlin like a puppy.

By the time Arthur's head stopped spinning from the combination of the alcohol and Merlin's lips curled upward shyly, he found himself shoved in a broom cupboard.

"Wha - " Arthur began, only to be cut off by a pair of lips closing over his own, uncertain but demanding in their own way.

Arthur froze, brain attempting to process the fact that Merlin was kissing him.

After several moments of unresponsiveness, Arthur felt Merlin's lips falter and draw back slightly.

 _Oh gods! Merlin is kissing me!_ Arthur thought frantically. He surged forward desperately and only managed to crash into Merlin's face, wincing as he felt his lip split open against Merlin teeth.

"Ow," Arthur complained, pulling away and raising a hand to rub his lip. "Your teeth are sharp."

"My teeth? Your forehead is hard! I'm going to have a bruise come morning," Merlin shot back, voice strained and slightly higher than usual.

Arthur squinted at Merlin in the darkness, then gave up trying to make out where Merlin's lips were. Instead, he made a wild grab and latched on to Merlin's hips, yanking him forward.

With a yelp, Merlin fell against Arthur's chest. Before Merlin could speak again, Arthur leaned forward and brushed his lips against the top of Merlin's ear. Merlin cut off with a gasp, all but melting into Arthur's arms.

"I knew your ears would be sensitive," Arthur murmured, letting his breath ghost over the shell of Merlin's ear, grinning wickedly at Merlin's shudder.

"Thought of them often, have you?" Merlin said breathlessly.

Arthur made a non-committal noise and nipped at Merlin's ear, making Merlin whine low in his throat. Arthur flicked out his tongue to give Merlin's ear a lick, then trailed his lips along Merlin's cheek to finally meet his lips. Then it was Arthur who whimpered when Merlin darted out his tongue to trace Arthur's lips. Immediately, Arthur met Merlin's tongue with his own, the two fighting for dominance in the confined space inside their mouths. What started out as an innocent kiss swiftly descended into a battle of tongues, each resorting to steadily dirtier tactics to subdue the other.

When Merlin's palm slid over Arthur's cock, Arthur groaned and threw his head back. "Merlin," he panted. "Car. Flat. Ngh."

Arthur was eternally grateful Merlin seemed to speak melted brain, since he wasted no time with words and just dragged Arthur after him into the cold, night air.

Merlin ordered, "Home. Now," before the door to the car was even fully shut. As the car sped off, Merlin promptly climbed into Arthur's lap and attacked his lips again.

The logical part of Arthur's mind knew that the driver was barely two feet away and could probably hear every pant and moan they made, but the part of his mind that only cared about _Merlin_ and _now,_ beat Arthur's logic over the head with a lump of wood and was currently urging Arthur to get his hands on more of Merlin's skin.

"We're here!" came a gleeful shout from the front of the car. Somehow, Merlin still had the presence of mind to call a quick "thanks!" before bodily dragging Arthur out the door and into their building. By the time they made it into their flat, Arthur was quite sure that they'd lost several items of clothing they had no intention of going back to retrieve.

Merlin and Arthur stumbled into one of their bedrooms - possibly Merlin's judging by the number of times they tripped - and collapsed on the bed, drunkenly tugging and ripping clothing off each other. The moment the last piece of clothing was gone, Merlin straddled Arthur and kissed him, then unfairly wiped out his brain functions by wrapping a hand around Arthur's cock and stroking, thumb rubbing the underside of the tip in a way that had Arthur bucking and scrabbling at the sheets.

"Merlin, please," Arthur moaned against Merlin's lips.

"God, Arthur," Merlin growled, breaking the kiss to rest his forehead on Arthur's shoulder. "Do you even know what you do to me?"

"I've got a pretty good idea," Arthur gasped out between moans, wrapping an arm around Merlin's back and pulling him down with a swift yank that had Merlin collapsing against Arthur's chest, back arching as his cock slid against Arthur's stomach. Arthur took great vindictive pleasure in Merlin's moans as he writhed against Arthur's chest, thrashing as his body sought enough friction for release.

"Fuck!" Arthur swore when Merlin bit down on a nipple. He sank his fingers into Merlin's soft hair and whimpered as Merlin soothed the bite with his tongue, sending bolts of arousal shooting through him as he scraped his teeth over the top of Arthur's nipple.

"Quit being such a tease," Arthur panted, pulling Merlin's head up by the hair.

Merlin licked his lips and met Arthur's heated gaze with dark - gold flecked? - eyes. The specks of gold were forgotten the moment Merlin ground his hips against Arthur, their cocks catching together with mind blowing friction.

"Arthur, I'm not gonna last," Merlin groaned, arms trembling as he tried to hold himself up.

Arthur took in the way Merlin's head hung down between his shoulders and shivered at the feel of Merlin's breath puffing across his chest. Arthur threw his head back and arched helplessly. "Neither will I. Come for me, Merlin."

And Merlin did, Arthur's name torn from his lips in a shout. Arthur was quick to follow at the feel of Merlin's come splashing across his chest, clutching at the sheets as the waves of pleasure consumed him.

The last thing Arthur saw before falling asleep was Merlin's fingers trailing through the come on Arthur's skin before lifting his hand to his lips and darting out his tongue for a taste.

\--

Arthur woke with a pounding headache and a clump of hair in his mouth. Immediately, Arthur began struggling to spit out his mouthful of hair without jostling his head too much or opening his eyes.

Finally, he cracked an eye open, immensely grateful the curtains were drawn, and wriggled away from the source of his discomfort. When the clump of hair moved, Arthur froze, slowly looking down to find a messy head of black hair shifting on his chest. With bated breath, Arthur peered over the hair to see Merlin’s face, nose scrunching up until he found a comfortable position on Arthur’s chest.

Arthur felt warmth suffuse his chest, a smile spreading across his face until he remembered how drunk they both were the night before. Gingerly, Arthur slipped from the bed to find some water and paracetamol for his headache.

As he wandered around the kitchen, Arthur wondered about how Merlin would react when he woke. He remembered the desperate desire they both expressed from the previous night with a smile. Some of it had to be real, Arthur told himself.

Before going back into the bedroom, Arthur grabbed another glass of water and the bottle of paracetamol, knowing Merlin would need it even more given his inability to hold his liquor. Arthur paused in the doorway to the bedroom, fondly gazing at the way Merlin cocooned himself in the blankets in the absence of Arthur’s presence, hugging Arthur’s pillow and half-burrowing into the mattress. It was so adorable it made his heart melt.

With a degree of care Arthur had never deemed necessary, he slipped back into bed, letting Merlin wrap his arms around Arthur’s torso and bury his face in Arthur’s stomach. Tentatively, Arthur began to run his fingers through Merlin’s rumpled hair, smoothing and messing it at the same time. Merlin snuffled and pushed further into Arthur’s touch.

Arthur lost track of time as he laid in bed, gazing at Merlin as he slept, fascinated by the sweep of dark eyelashes against porcelain skin and the pink lips parted ever so slightly in invitation. When Merlin finally stirred, Arthur just smiled indulgently, forgetting that their situation was out of the ordinary.

Merlin blinked his eyes open and made a discontented noise, muttering Arthur’s name in a slight whine.

Arthur laughed and tugged gently on Merlin’s hair. “Yes, Merlin?”

“Arthur!” Merlin suddenly yelped, and bolted upright in bed, scooting away from Arthur.

Finally, the reality of the situation hit Arthur, and he hastily pulled back the hand that was reaching for Merlin. “Merlin! I – “

Arthur faltered when he saw Merlin wince and raise a hand to his head. Quickly, he handed Merlin the glass of water and the paracetamol, softening a bit at Merlin’s grateful smile.

After Merlin downed the painkillers, he met Arthur’s gaze uncertainly and asked, “Do you remember last night?”

Arthur shifted nervously and avoided Merlin’s gaze. Finally, he said, “Yeah. I remember everything.”

“So…?”

Arthur cracked a weak smile. “It was nothing, right? I mean, you were with Freya not too long ago, and I… well it doesn’t matter.” Arthur made to get off the bed, but got lost in the tangled blankets.

“Wait, Arthur, you what?” Merlin asked desperately.

“Nothing,” Arthur insisted. “We’re just friends. You don’t feel that way about me, so it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Merlin said. “We can’t just ignore what happened. You can’t possibly just be okay with it. I mean – “ Merlin broke off, swallowing nervously as a blush crept up his neck. He continued more quietly, “I mean, I was the one who made the first move. You can’t tell me you have nothing to say.”

“What do you want me to say, Merlin?” Arthur asked tiredly.

“The truth,” Merlin simply said. Arthur looked at Merlin, taking in his earnest expression, and gave in.

“You want the truth? The truth is that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for – for – ages probably. The truth is that I hated seeing you with Freya, and I still hate seeing you together now because I wonder if you still have feelings for her. God, Merlin, I’ve been a bit in love with you for ages, and I don’t know why I never saw it before we got thrown into this crazy new world. There, are you happy now?”

Merlin gaped at Arthur for several moments before he threw himself into Arthur’s arms and kissed him square on the lips. Arthur melted into the kiss at first, then pulled away violently.

“Are you still drunk?” Arthur asked bluntly, keeping Merlin at arm’s length.

Merlin laughed and shook his head, reaching for Arthur’s hand to tangle their fingers together. “No, you prat, I’m not drunk. I’m just a little bit in love with you too.”

\--

That night, as Merlin got into the bed beside Arthur for the first time, Merlin felt a slight tingling in his chest. He rubbed at it idly until it went away. As Arthur fell asleep, arms wound tightly around Merlin’s torso, Merlin felt the tingling return. Merlin rubbed at the spot on his chest again, feeling irritated and a little worried. Suddenly, a spark appeared at the tip of his finger.

Merlin froze and stared at the darkness where the spark appeared. “Arthur?” Merlin murmured. He relaxed when he received no response.

Concentrating hard, Merlin focused on that bit of tingling within himself and willed another spark to appear. And appear it did.

A huge grin broke out across Merlin’s face as he realized what this meant.

His magic was returning.

It was just a tiny trickle thus far, but Merlin had hopes that it would return entirely over time. At last, it felt as if what was missing inside him had returned just a little. With that thought in mind, Merlin drifted off the sleep with a smile on his face.

\--

The next morning, Merlin woke to find Arthur gazing at him with a soft smile on his face.

“Hi,” Merlin whispered.

“Hi yourself,” Arthur whispered back, leaning in for a good morning kiss that swiftly turned heated. It didn’t take long before Merlin found himself pinned to the bed with Arthur straddling him.

“Yes, Arthur,” Merlin gasped, bucking his hips up to meet Arthur’s cock.

“Merlin,” Arthur groaned, rutting against Merlin helplessly for a few moments before getting himself back under control.

“I’m glad we’re both sober this time,” Merlin half-moaned, tugging at the bottom of Arthur’s nightshirt to pull it over his head.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Arthur said, tugging Merlin’s shirt over his head and tugging his pants down at the same time. “I could get drunk off of you.”

Merlin’s breathless laugh quickly turned into a moan as Arthur wrapped his fingers around Merlin’s cock and started stroking.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, Merlin,” Arthur panted into Merlin’s neck, making Merlin throw his head back and moan from the pleasure of the play of Arthur’s breath over sensitive skin.

Arthur smirked. “I knew your neck would be sensitive. Keeping it covered up with those damn neckerchiefs all the time.” Arthur nipped at Merlin’s collarbone, reveling in the hitch in Merlin’s breath.

“You love my neckerchiefs,” Merlin sniped, his tone losing its effect when his words ended on a moan.

“God help me, I do,” Arthur groaned, letting Merlin push his pants down so he could grasp at Arthur’s cock.

Neither spoke for a while, the only sounds being their quiet moans and the sounds of them writhing on the blankets. They just took in the sensations of being together so intimately, gazing into each other’s eyes and knowing that this was real and it was them and that was all that mattered.

Then Arthur’s hand grazed Merlin’s balls and Merlin moaned loudly, throwing his head back and breaking eye contact. Immediately, Arthur grinned and bent down to take one of Merlin’s balls in his mouth, making Merlin thrash below him.

“Arthur,” Merlin whimpered, reaching down and burying his fingers in Arthur’s hair.

Moving up slightly, Arthur started mouthing at the tip of Merlin’s cock, rolling his balls between his fingers instead. Arthur sucked the tip into his mouth and Merlin’s hips bucked up, forcing half of his cock into Arthur’s mouth before he pulled back, sputtering.

“Sorry, sorry,” Merlin gasped, trailing his fingers down the side of Arthur’s face in apology.

Arthur just grinned and dove down again, licking at Merlin’s cock like nothing happened. As his other hand played with Merlin’s balls, his fingers grazed against Merlin’s hole and Merlin keened in pleasure.

“Yes,” Merlin gasped, spreading his legs wider to allow Arthur greater access.

Arthur’s eyes widened as his breathing sped up. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Arthur. Yes to everything! I want you inside me,” Merlin half begged.

Arthur cursed and started scrambling around for lube. While Arthur was distracted, Merlin summoned his bottle of lube to his from his nightstand and thrust it in front of Arthur’s nose. “Here!”

Without questioning it, Arthur quickly wet his fingers, stroking Merlin’s hole gently.

“I’m not going to break, Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed, snatching the lube from Arthur’s hand before coating his own fingers liberally and pressing them into himself, moaning all the while.

Arthur watched slack jawed as Merlin fucked himself on his own fingers. When Merlin opened his eyes and said, “Are you just going to sit there and watch?” Arthur finally sprang into action, pulling Merlin’s hand away and replacing it with his own, ignoring Merlin’s sigh of “finally.”

Despite Merlin’s protests, Arthur wanted to be gentle, slowly teasing Merlin open and getting him used to the intrusion before adding a second finger. When Merlin started protesting more vehemently, Arthur crooked his fingers and Merlin keened, starting to babble nonsense.

“Arthur,” Merlin moaned. “Just fuck me already.”

Staring at Merlin’s writhing form on the bed, Arthur finally snapped, spreading lube over his cock before pressing into Merlin slowly. “Is this what you wanted?” Arthur panted.

“Yes,” Merlin moaned. “More, Arthur.”

It didn’t take long before Arthur was pounding into Merlin, losing himself in the tight heat of Merlin’s arse, with Merlin’s arms and legs wrapped around him, nonsensical syllables falling from Merlin’s lips.

Arthur reached between them to tug on Merlin’s cock, and Merlin came with a surprised shout. With Merlin’s arse spasming around him, Arthur thrust once, twice, three more times, before he spilled himself inside Merlin, collapsing on top of him, thoroughly satisfied.

\--

The next few weeks were some of the happiest of Merlin’s life. He was able to enjoy being with Arthur during the day as well as knowing that he would fall into bed with him at night. The entire office cooed at them every time they walked past together, and they reveled in the fact that they could be together with no consequences aside from the ones they created for themselves.

But like all good things, it must come to an end.

\--

“Welcome to the celebration of our renewed contract with Dragon Corp!” Merlin announced, gazing proudly at the room full of people. Merlin felt his heart warm as he realized that these were his employees, and they all looked just as proud as he felt. For the first time, Merlin began to understand how Arthur felt as a king.

“We have sushi being freshly made and set out as I speak. Enjoy the celebration!”

The moment Merlin put down the microphone, a crowd of people raced for the buffet tables, eager to eat. Merlin just smiled and leaned against his table, feeling proud of how far he’d come in the past year.

Arthur hung back from the crowd, catching Merlin’s eye and sending him a proud smile, happy to see Merlin so successful. Merlin shot Arthur a bright smile in return before turning to his father and the crowd of people ready to swarm him to offer their congratulations.

“Sushi?” Freya asked, suddenly popping up in Arthur’s line of sight.

“Er, yes, thank you,” Arthur said, failing to hide his surprise.

Freya smiled at him warmly. “I got you a bit of everything. I had a feeling you might be too busy staring at Merlin to actually get in line.”

“I was not!” Arthur protested.

“Oh, so that wasn’t a thoroughly besotted look on your face just before I interrupted you?” Freya teased.

“Absolutely not,” Arthur insisted, picking up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks and popping it in his mouth.

“Sure,” Freya said, sounding thoroughly unconvinced. “Well, now that I’ve got you fed, I should go make sure Merlin gets his food too.”

“You brought me food before Merlin?“ Arthur asked, genuinely touched.

“Don’t sound too flattered. Balinor will make certain Merlin eats, but you just might stand there all night without taking your eyes off Merlin,” Freya replied, sending Arthur a warm smile nonetheless.

“Thanks,” Arthur simply said.

“It’s what I’m here for,” Freya replied before wandering off to collect another plate of food for Merlin.

Arthur chewed thoughtfully as his eyes followed Merlin around the room, talking to his employees like close friends. When Merlin finally turned to Arthur, it was with a soft smile on his face that quickly morphed into horror.

Arthur was puzzled until he followed Merlin’s gaze, only to find a sushi knife hurtling at him. Terrified, Arthur felt his muscles lock into place, vaguely remembering old reflexes, but his muscles refused to move with the lack of training in the past year. The next thing he knew, Arthur felt a force wrap itself around his middle and tug until he was sprawled on the floor, knife embedding itself into the wall behind him, and the plate of sushi clattering to the floor. Arthur caught Merlin’s terrified gaze just in time to see the gold haze receding from his eyes.

For a moment, all Arthur could hear was the blood pounding in his ears. Then he leaped to his feet, brushing aside the hands thrust in front of his face to help him up, and hurried to the door.

Merlin’s voice cut through the tension in a shout of Arthur’s name. Arthur’s heart twisted at the desperation in Merlin’s tone, but he didn’t turn back, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle the look on Merlin’s face. But when he got to the door, Arthur realized his hands were shaking so badly he couldn’t get enough of a grasp to turn the doorknob. Cursing, Arthur took several deep breaths to try to calm himself enough to escape the party.

Before he had the chance to try the door again, Merlin latched on to his arm, whispering, “Arthur, please let me explain,” into his ear. As Arthur tried to shake him off, Merlin announced, “I’ll take Arthur back to our flat. Everyone please enjoy yourselves without me.” Without waiting for permission from his father, Merlin opened the door and nudged Arthur through, hustling them into the car before Arthur had the chance to object.

It was a long, silent car ride home.

The moment the car rolled to a stop, Arthur dashed for the flat, leaving Merlin behind after practically slamming the car door in his face. Arthur made a beeline for his bedroom, haphazardly throwing his belongings into a bag to try to get away from Merlin, knowing he couldn’t stay here with the jumbled mess in his mind. When Arthur heard footsteps in the living room, he quickly zipped up his bag and tried to run for the door.

Merlin intercepted him by practically tackling Arthur to the ground.

“Arthur!” Merlin called desperately. “Please, just listen to me!”

“Why should I?” Arthur demanded, staring at Merlin incredulously. “You’ve been lying to me since we met about an offense that’s punishable by death!”

“Only in Camelot!” Merlin tried to protest.

Arthur snorted. “Oh yes. And look who’s king there,” he said dryly.

“You could change that,” Merlin said quietly, tightening his hold on Arthur’s arm.

“Is that the only reason you’ve stayed beside me?” Arthur spat. “To legalize magic for people like you?”

Merlin turned wide, hurt eyes on Arthur, stumbling back in shock. “How could you say that?” Merlin cried. “Do you think I’ve spent the past five years playing some kind of waiting game? Arthur, I have stayed by your side through being punched, poisoned, and pelted with fruit, not to mention having willingly given my life for yours. If you can’t see that it’s you and not your power that I care for, then you’re not the man I thought you were.”

Arthur gaped at Merlin. Only Merlin would send Arthur on a guilt trip while Arthur was doubting Merlin’s character. “You know what?” Arthur snapped. “Maybe I’m not the man you thought I was.”

As Arthur prepared to storm out, Merlin threw himself at Arthur again, holding tight to his arm.

“No, wait, Arthur! I’m sorry, okay?” Merlin half-pleaded. “That didn’t come out right. You are the man I think you are. I know it. Just please give me the chance to explain. You wouldn’t condemn a man without a fair trial, would you? Please don’t condemn me without hearing me out.”

Arthur sighed. “Merlin, I just can’t be near you right now. After all this time, I can’t accept that you’re still keeping secrets.”

Merlin hung on tightly as Arthur tried to shake him off. He blocked Arthur’s way out and turned pleading eyes on Arthur. “Arthur, please don’t leave. Stay. Stay for me. For us. I love you, Arthur, have you forgotten that? You – you’re everything. I swear none of it has to do with the fact that you’re the king of Camelot. Arthur, I know I have magic, and I know that’s a crime punishable by death. But it’s for you. It’s all for you. It always has been! I promise I’ve never used it against you or to hurt anyone who wasn’t threatening you. How did you expect me to tell you the truth when you would’ve chopped my head off?”

Arthur didn’t look at Merlin as he said quietly, “The fact that you believe I would’ve done that tells me everything I need to know.”

“No, Arthur, you don’t understand,” Merlin begged. “I didn’t want to put you in that position. While your father was still alive, you had a duty to uphold his laws. I couldn’t make you choose between me and your father!”

“And now?”

“I – “ Merlin faltered. “I still didn’t want to put you in that position. I didn’t want to force you to repeal the ban on magic because of me. I wanted you to see the good that magic could do. I didn’t want to make you choose between me and what you’ve always been taught. But mostly, I was scared. I was scared of losing you. I wanted to believe you would understand, but I was too scared you would send me away to tell you the truth.”

“I’m not sending you away, Merlin,” Arthur said softly. “I’m the one that needs to get away.”

“Arthur!” Merlin said, struggling to hold back tears. “I’m not asking you to forgive me right now. I know I was wrong to keep my magic from you for so long. But I am asking you to please stay here. I need you, Arthur, even if you don’t need me.”

Finally, Arthur felt his resolve crumble. He snuck a peek of Merlin’s tear-stained face from the corner of his eye and sighed mentally. He gave the tiniest nod, and Merlin’s face lit up. Arthur felt his heart skip a beat at the bright smile on Merlin’s face, then promptly squashed the warm feeling bubbling in his chest. He turned on his heel and started toward his bedroom. At the doorway, Arthur paused upon hearing Merlin’s footsteps following.

“Don’t,” Arthur said quietly. Arthur practically heard the hurt in the creak of the floorboards as Merlin stopped in his tracks. Without looking back, Arthur closed the door behind himself with a quiet click, then promptly collapsed back against the door and slid to the ground, buried his face in his hands, and let the tears flow.

\--

Merlin watched in despair as their – Arthur’s – bedroom door closed with Arthur on one side and himself on the other. It had been so long since they’d spent a night apart that Merlin felt as if a physical link had been cut between them. He felt the separation as acutely as the loss of a limb. Merlin stood staring at the closed bedroom door for a long time before he accepted that the door was not going to open again.

Merlin trudged forward until he rested his fingertips against the wood of the door, fancying that he could feel Arthur’s warmth just on the other side. With a quiet hiccupping sob, Merlin rested his forehead against the door, desperately wishing the situation could have gone better.

It was the middle of the night by the time Merlin tore himself from Arthur’s bedroom door to enter his own bedroom. Merlin flicked on the light and gazed at the neatly made bed and the empty tabletops. Merlin hadn’t realized how much of his stuff had been moved to Arthur’s room until that very moment. For the first time it hit Merlin just how much his life had become entwined with Arthur’s.

Without bothering to undress, Merlin climbed on to his bed and curled up on top of the covers where he fell into a fitful sleep, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

\--

The next morning, Merlin woke with the dawn. He dragged himself out of bed to make breakfast for Arthur, hoping the extra effort would soften him up. Arthur always did like a good breakfast in the mornings.

When Arthur did emerge from his bedroom, Merlin felt a pang go through him when he saw the bags under Arthur’s eyes and the weariness of his gait.

“I made breakfast,” Merlin said, waving a piece of toast enticingly.

Arthur didn’t even look at Merlin, choosing instead to go straight to the bathroom, door shutting quietly behind him.

Merlin slowly lowered the toast, staring at it forlornly, half wishing Arthur had slammed the door so Merlin would know where his mind was at.

Merlin set out two plates and piled Arthur’s with eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and tomatoes. He was halfway through scooping up the eggs when he realized he had no appetite. With a sigh, Merlin set the pan back down on the stove and picked up his piece of toast, nibbling halfheartedly.

Merlin stood waiting for Arthur to reemerge, trying to get some sense of comfort from the sounds of running water and the knowledge that at least Arthur was still going about his day.

When Arthur finally exited the bathroom, Merlin called his name softly. Arthur didn’t look at him, but Merlin knew he was listening from the tensing on his shoulders.

“I’m going to head into the office. Feel free to take as much time off as you want,” Merlin said quietly. Merlin made an aborted movement towards Arthur, instinctively moving to kiss him on the cheek like he always did if he left the flat without Arthur.

Embarrassed, Merlin grabbed his coat and hurried to the door. As he was stepping out, he heard Arthur’s muttered response of “I don’t need days off, Merlin.”

Flooded with relief that Arthur wouldn’t be running off, Merlin shut the door behind him and took off at a brisk walk for work, needing the fresh air to clear his head.

\--

Arthur finally turned toward the kitchen after the door clicked shut. He gazed at the still warm plate of breakfast Merlin made and the single half-eaten piece of toast and mentally reprimanded himself for the warmth that spread through his chest. He wasn’t supposed to care what Merlin did for him. It shouldn’t matter after Merlin’s betrayal. It was a betrayal that cut too deep. Despite it all, Arthur still couldn’t curb the urge to wrap Merlin in his arms and kiss the pain away upon hearing the raw hurt in his voice when Arthur wouldn’t look at him. In truth, Arthur couldn’t bring himself to look at Merlin. It hurt too much. And if he did, Arthur knew any resolve he had would crumble.

As Arthur ate his breakfast, his gaze kept drifting to the empty seat across the table and the barely eaten toast. Arthur could hardly remember what it was like to have breakfast without Merlin chattering at him from across the table. When Arthur noticed the rest of the untouched food, he felt a pang of concern go through him as he realized Merlin hadn’t eaten anything but for a few bites of toast.

During the car ride to the office, Arthur asked the driver to stop at a café briefly, where he dashed in and bought Merlin a chocolate croissant and a cup of ridiculously sweet coffee with whip cream. When he returned to the car, Arthur got a wink from the driver as he looked pointedly at the food in Arthur’s hand.

“He dash off too early this morning?” the driver asked as he pulled back on the road.

“Something like that,” Arthur replied quietly, smiling weakly, knowing it didn’t reach his eyes. Thankfully, the driver didn’t ask more.

When Arthur arrived at the office, he knocked on Freya’s door instead going to Merlin’s. “Freya?”

“Arthur!” Freya said, looking at Arthur in surprise. “What is it?”

“Can you put these on Merlin’s desk for me?” Arthur asked, holding out the croissant and coffee.

Freya’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Me? Why don’t you give it to him when he comes in?”

“He hasn’t come in yet?” Arthur asked, feeling worry sweep through him.

“No…” Freya peered at Arthur carefully. “Have you two had a fight?” Freya asked gently.

Arthur avoided Freya’s gaze. “I’ll go set these down on his desk then.”

“No, Arthur, wait. You know you can talk to me if something’s wrong, don’t you?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Arthur replied, shooting Freya a weak smile.

“Then is everything okay?”

“It’s complicated,” was Arthur’s only response before he hurried out of Freya’s office and into Merlin’s.

\--

When Merlin arrived at work, he hurried to his office, hesitating for a beat by Arthur’s desk, but continued on when Arthur made no gesture of acknowledgement. Merlin collapsed in his chair, barely managing to avoid dumping his things on top of the croissant and coffee.

Puzzled, Merlin stared at the food, taking a small sip of the coffee and closing his eyes in bliss. Quickly, Merlin went to Freya’s office.

“Thanks for the coffee and the croissant,” Merlin said, smiling gratefully at Freya.

“You’re thanking the wrong person, I’m afraid,” Freya replied, nodding in the direction of Arthur’s desk.

Merlin spun around to stare in the direction Freya indicated, eyes practically boring a hole through the wall between Freya’s office and the rest of the floor as if he could see Arthur.

“Arthur brought it?” Merlin whispered.

“He did,” Freya said. As Merlin stared off into space, lost in thought, Freya came around her desk to stand beside him. “What happened?” she asked softly.

“Keeping secrets,” Merlin said ruefully, sending Freya a sad smile.

“What was he keeping from you?”

Merlin gave a hollow laugh. “Nothing. It was my fault.” Then a beat later, more quietly, “It’s always my fault.”

Merlin could practically feel it when Freya’s protective instincts rose to the surface. She wrapped an arm around Merlin and told him sternly, “It’s _not_ always your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. If he’s hurting you, you need to tell me, Merlin.”

Merlin tried to shrug Freya off, regretting saying anything at all. He didn’t want people to think badly of Arthur. But he couldn’t tell the truth to clear his name. “Look, Freya,” Merlin said exasperatedly. “It’s not how it sounded. It was my fault this time, okay? I screwed up because I kept something big from Arthur for a long time. He has every right to be mad. I just… don’t know if he’ll come around.”

Freya gave Merlin a sympathetic squeeze. “He will,” she promised.

“How can you know that?” Merlin asked forlornly.

“Because he loves you,” she said simply. “Besides, who could stay mad at that face?” Freya teased, poking Merlin’s cheek playfully.

Merlin gave a short laugh as he batted Freya’s finger away. Merlin looked up and out of Freya’s office door. He froze and felt his stomach drop when he met Arthur’s hurt gaze on the other side of the office where Arthur was standing at the copy machine with a direct line of sight into Freya’s open office.

Merlin wanted to rush to him and tell him it wasn’t what it looked like. But what could he say at this point that would alleviate the pain? Arthur turned away first, snatching the papers from the copier and hurrying back to his desk.

Merlin sighed and forced himself to return to his office.

\--

Merlin spent the next month gazing listlessly at his paperwork and jumping every time he thought he heard Arthur’s voice. Freya ended up doing most of his work for him.

Merlin was tired of the pitying glances he got from his employees. Gone were the cooing sounds the women made as he and Arthur passed, and in their place were comforting pats on the arm and lowered voices as he approached.

Gwaine even toned down his blatant flirting with anything that moved when Merlin was around. Gwen tended to pat his cheek and force feed him whenever she saw him. Merlin knew he didn’t look great. He’d stopped looking at himself in the mirror. He didn’t know what he would do with himself if Arthur didn’t forgive him. And it was a little disturbing to look in the mirror and not recognize the man staring back at you.

Merlin knew his father was worried, he’d even called Will several times and asked him to visit Merlin. Will had shown up on his doorstep after the third phone call and stayed for a few days, trying to cheer Merlin up. Unfortunately, it did little to help. The only good that came from the visit was the fact that he and Freya seemed to hit it off right away. Merlin had high hopes for the two of them even if his hopes for his own happiness seemed to shrink with each passing day.

\--

Arthur didn’t feel much better than Merlin. He spent his days sneaking glances at Merlin, worried about how he was doing while not wanting to get involved. He went back to putting off his work and no one would scold him over it.

He went back to being a prat around the office, snapping at co-workers and not talking whenever anyone tried to speak to him. It didn’t deter anyone though. In fact, they all seemed even more sympathetic, offering him biscuits and a sympathetic ear if he ever needed one.

Everyone tended to look at Arthur like he lost the best thing that would ever happen to him. The worst thing was, Arthur couldn’t help but be afraid that they were right.

\--

"Mr. Emrys wants to see you," Freya whispered as she passed Arthur's desk.

"What?" Arthur squeaked. He'd never had to talk to Merlin's father alone before. Especially not after finding out that he was the dragonlord he and Merlin had been searching for once upon a time.

"Yes, and you'd better hurry," she told him. "He doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Arthur gulped and set off for Merlin's father's office. He had no idea what Balinor Emrys could possibly want. What if he wanted to fire him for breaking Merlin's heart? Arthur didn't want to be fired! Besides, he still liked being close to Merlin, even if he couldn't quite forgive and forget.

Arthur knocked hesitantly on the door marked CEO.

"Enter."

Arthur braced himself and stepped into the room. "Mr. Emrys," Arthur said as steadily as he could. "How can I help you?"

"It's simple really," Balinor replied, sending Arthur an exasperated glance. "Fix my son."

"Excuse me?" Arthur stammered.

"Fix my son," Balinor repeated. "Merlin. Your best friend. The man you've clearly been in love with for far too long."

"Mr. Emrys, I don't think you understand - " Arthur began.

"No, I don't," Balinor said. "Which is why I told you to fix it rather than telling you how to fix it. I don't know which one of you messed up, but I'm telling you because my son will just mutter about how it's all his fault and that he deserves it."

Arthur was silent.

"Judging by your lack of protest, I'm assuming you are the one who needs to do the fixing?"

"We both did and said some things we regret, sir," Arthur said slowly. "But it's not something that can be fixed as easily as you're suggesting."

"I think you both are over-complicating the situation," Balinor said matter of factly. "I've seen the puppy dog looks you send each other when the other isn't looking. It seems to me that you both miss the other but are both too proud to admit it."

"I'll do my best, sir," Arthur said, suppressing a sigh, knowing he couldn't explain anything without sounding like a loon.

"That's what I like to hear," Balinor said, grinning at Arthur in a way so reminiscent of Merlin Arthur had to clench his fists to stop from reaching up to rub at the physical pain in his chest.

\--

"Merlin?" Arthur called when the front door opened.

"Arthur?" Merlin said, voice so full of hope it made Arthur's heart hurt. He really hadn't realized how much Merlin had been hurting over the past month.

"Can I talk to you?"

Merlin came tripping into the room in two seconds flat. "What is it?" Merlin asked hopefully, eyes darting toward Arthur to meet his eyes briefly, then quickly sliding away, as if afraid of what he might find.

"I spoke to your father today."

Merlin blinked at Arthur owlishly. "Okay..."

"He told me, and I quote, 'fix my son.'"

To Arthur's great amusement, Merlin's face and neck flushed bright red. Arthur couldn't recall ever seeing Merlin turn that shade of red in all the time he'd known him.

"He had no right to do that," Merlin said flatly.

"No, I suppose not," Arthur said, waiting for Merlin's response.

"Don't listen to my father," Merlin said quietly, shoulders slumped in defeat, but eyes flashing in anger all the while. "He had no right to say that to you. No right to abuse the power he has as your boss."

Arthur didn't reply. The longer Arthur remained silent, the more worked up Merlin got. "My father thinks he can say things like that and it won't matter. He knows that when he tells someone to do something, they do it because they're terrified of losing their jobs. So he rarely does things like that! He knew exactly what he was doing when he told you to 'fix me'," Merlin snapped. "He has absolutely no right to interfere in my relationships. I promise you your job is safe, Arthur. So don't listen to my father."

Arthur chuckled to himself. Same Merlin. The one who cared about equality, didn't care about social status, and apparently still put Arthur above everyone else, including his own newly found father. Before he really knew what he was doing, Arthur stepped forward, caught Merlin's flailing arm, and pulled him close. As Merlin stuttered to a halt, Arthur kissed him, drowning in the sensation of Merlin's lips against his for the first time in a month.

Arthur fought back a smile as he felt Merlin's eyes flutter shut by the light brush of Merlin's eyelashes against his cheek and felt Merlin sigh softly against Arthur's mouth, melting slightly in Arthur's arms. Just as Arthur relaxed fully into the kiss, Merlin shoved him away, making Arthur stumble on to the couch in hurt confusion.

"Arthur," Merlin whispered, avoiding Arthur's gaze.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, fighting to keep his voice steady.

Merlin laughed hollowly. "I guess I know why you never slept with any of the serving girls in Camelot."

Arthur was completely bewildered. "What the hell are you on about?"

"They're obligated to please you, just like how you feel obligated to 'fix' me just because my father asked it. I don't want that, Arthur."

Merlin looked so sad and broken that Arthur found himself reaching for Merlin's hands before his mind registered he was doing it.

"Merlin," Arthur murmured. "Look at me."

Merlin met Arthur's gaze reluctantly.

"That's not why I'm doing this. I promise," Arthur said softly. "I've wanted you back for ages. But I just haven't been able to swallow my pride and tell you that."

"How do I know you're not just saying that?" Merlin asked, shoulders sagging wearily.

"You just have to trust me," Arthur said. "You've always been good at that. Why stop now?"

"Because things are different now."

"Has that made you stop trusting me?" Arthur asked, hurt.

"No!" Merlin exclaimed. "Never!"

"So trust me on this," Arthur said, peering into Merlin's face. "Do you really think I would lie to you to curry favor?"

"No," Merlin admitted.

"Exactly. So trust me when I say that I do still love you."

"Okay," Merlin whispered. "Okay."

Arthur stood slowly and edged closer to Merlin, pressing close to him and nudging Merlin's cheek with his nose, silently asking permission to steal another kiss. Merlin smiled shyly and leaned forward, capturing Arthur's lips with his own.

“Now that’s more like it,” Arthur murmured against Merlin’s lips.

\--

That night, after a rather enthusiastic bout of make-up sex, Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms and asked, “Will you show me your magic?”

Merlin’s entire face lit up as he nodded vigorously. Without giving any thought to what he would show Arthur, Merlin just let his magic decide, and when he opened his palm, a glowing blue orb appeared over his hand.

Merlin peered at Arthur’s face nervously, giddy with excitement over showing Arthur his magic, but feeling wary at the look of shock on Arthur’s face. “Arthur?” he whispered.

“It was you,” Arthur murmured.

Merlin looked between the blue orb and Arthur in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Arthur finally tore his eyes away from the orb of light and met Merlin’s gaze. Merlin was shocked to see tears standing in Arthur’s eyes. “It was you,” Arthur repeated. “All those years ago, when I went to find the Mortaeus flower for you, a glowing blue orb guided me out of the caves. It’s always been you, hasn’t it, Merlin?”

Merlin stared at the orb floating over his palm in wonder, and said, “Gaius told me I was muttering in my sleep and that I was doing some kind of spell. I had no idea.”

“God, Merlin,” Arthur said, with a half laugh, half sob. “Even while you had no idea what you were doing. Even while you were dying, you were protecting me. How could I ever have doubted you?”

Merlin smiled and leaned further into Arthur’s embrace. “It doesn’t matter. As long as you know now that all of this,” Merlin gestured a bit with the orb, “has been for you. That’s enough for me.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Arthur murmured into Merlin’s hair. “And I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“I have been for years,” Merlin whispered back. “You’ve just been too much of a prat to see it.”

Arthur laughed. “Don’t ever change, Merlin. I want you to always be you. Insolent, cheeky, and impossibly endearing.”

Merlin didn’t respond, just snuggled closer to Arthur and sighed in contentment.

“Can I hold it?” Arthur asked tentatively.

Merlin’s smile widened as he took Arthur’s hand in his own and held it, palm up, before passing the orb to Arthur. Arthur squeezed Merlin’s hand tightly as he stared at the glowing ball of light with childlike awe. “It’s beautiful,” he breathed.

“I know,” Merlin simply said, keeping hold of Arthur’s hand with the intention of never letting go.

\--

“Have you heard of Arthurian legend?” Merlin asked suddenly.

“A few mentions, I think,” Arthur replied, keeping his eyes glued to the TV.

“Didn’t you ever wonder what it was?”

“Some kind of legend, I assume,” Arthur said with a shrug.

“It’s about you,” Merlin blurted out.

“What?” Arthur exclaimed, head snapping around to stare at Merlin incredulously. “You can’t be serious.”

Merlin hopped up off the couch from where he was curled into Arthur’s side. “I’m very serious, Arthur. Come look.”

Arthur followed wordlessly as Merlin walked off to his old bedroom. Merlin pulled several books off one of the shelves tucked away in a corner of the room and presented them to Arthur. “Just skim some of them,” Merlin said softly. “It’s about you. And me. And everyone we once knew.”

Arthur looked at Merlin skeptically but indulged him, sitting down at the desk to leaf through the texts. Before he knew it, several hours had passed and he was deeply engrossed in stories about the life he once lived. They were extremely inaccurate accounts, but the threads of truth in each story were unmistakable.

“Merlin,” Arthur whispered in awe, lifting his head to meet Merlin’s nervous gaze. “Are these really about us?”

Merlin nodded tentatively. “That was us. And we’re still us now, hundreds of years in the future.”

“How is that possible?” Arthur asked.

“We’ve been… reborn,” Merlin replied. “I can’t explain how I know, but I can feel that we’re still the same people, just like everyone around us.”

“So we’re still in a version of Camelot?” Arthur asked, quirking a smile.

“In a way, yes,” Merlin said. “Have you got to the end yet?”

“Not quite. There’s all this stuff about Gwen and Lancelot which I really should’ve expected.”

“You’re not mad?”

“About them?” Arthur asked. “No. It’s really not surprising at all. It was always clear who Gwen’s first choice was, and it certainly wasn’t me.”

“But you stayed with her anyway,” Merlin said.

“I did,” Arthur admitted. “It got to a point where neither of us knew how to end it. I’d defied my father for her, for god’s sake.”

“Exactly,” Merlin murmured, not looking at Arthur.

“Merlin,” Arthur said softly, abandoning the books to put an arm around Merlin’s shoulders. “It’s always been you. Even before I fully realized it. I do care for Gwen. But in her, I see the Queen I know she can be. Any infatuation I once had with her burned out long ago.”

Merlin offered Arthur a small smile. “Really?”

“Really,” Arthur said firmly, brushing a light kiss over Merlin’s lips.

“Keep reading,” Merlin said, gesturing to the books.

Arthur kept reading.

\--

“A golden age?” Arthur murmured, voice gone soft in wonder.

“Your golden age,” Merlin replied. Arthur could hear the smile in his voice.

“Our golden age,” Arthur corrected, smiling brilliantly at Merlin.

“Our golden age,” Merlin repeated, eyes soft with affection.

\--

“Well,” Arthur said upon closing the final text. “It looks like my death is pretty set in stone.”

Merlin bit his lip so hard he broke the skin. “I won’t let that happen,” Merlin choked out.

Arthur looked up, eyes softening at the tortured look in Merlin’s eyes. He grabbed a tissue and sat down beside Merlin on the bed, dabbing at the blood that gathered on Merlin’s bottom lip.

“When did you find out?” Arthur asked softly, instinctively knowing that Merlin had been torturing himself with this information for years.

“Since we saved Mordred from being executed,” Merlin said, not daring to look Arthur in the eye. “I was the one who helped him in the courtyard, Arthur. I tried to stay away when you were getting him out from the dungeons, but I couldn’t. It’s all my fault.” Merlin buried his face in his hands.

“No, Merlin,” Arthur said, voice impossibly tender, gently tugging Merlin’s hands away from his face. “I wouldn’t have you commit murder for my sake.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Merlin muttered.

Arthur’s tugging became more urgent. “What?” he asked sharply. “What do you mean it wouldn’t be the first time? Tell me, Merlin!”

“Protecting you isn’t exactly like prancing through a field of daisies,” Merlin snorted. “It’s not always easy.”

“Who have you killed, Merlin?” Arthur demanded.

“Do you want a list?” Merlin snapped.

“Yes!”

Merlin fell silent.

“Tell me, Merlin,” Arthur half pleaded. “Tell me everything.”

“Everything?” Merlin said hollowly.

“From the beginning. Tell me about your magic. About everything I’ve missed over the years.”

And Merlin did.

By the end of the story, Arthur had drawn Merlin into his arms, holding him tight, as if trying to hold together an armful of broken pieces. “Why did you do it?”

“Because you’re worth it,” Merlin simply said.

“Because of the prophecy?”

“No,” Merlin said softly. “Because you’re you.”

\--

“Do you think we’ll ever get back, Merlin?”

Merlin didn’t speak for several long moments. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “I’m still trying, Arthur. But it’s not easy with nothing to work off of.”

“Just… keep trying, won’t you?” Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin nodded and sent Arthur a weary smile.

\--

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted when he arrived home to find Merlin sprawled on the floor, not moving.

Arthur ran to Merlin and fell to the floor beside him, gathering the limp body in his arms and shaking it.

“Merlin, please wake up,” Arthur begged. He grabbed Merlin’s wrist and felt for a pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he found one.

“Merlin,” Arthur whispered. “I need you. Please wake up.” Arthur pressed his forehead to Merlin’s and stayed like that for so long, Arthur lost track of time. When he finally felt Merlin stirring, Arthur pulled back to better study Merlin’s face.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked hopefully.

Merlin groaned and raised a hand to his head. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at Arthur blearily. “Arthur? What happened?” he croaked.

“Thank god,” Arthur breathed, wrapping Merlin in such a tight embrace that he had to choke out, “Can’t. Breathe,” before Arthur would let go.

“Merlin, what were you doing?” Arthur asked, after he helped Merlin on to the bed. “I came home and just found you lying on the floor. I thought you were dead,” Arthur said, the last word coming out as a sob.

“I was…” Merlin trailed off, pressing the heel of his hand into his forehead in an effort to remember. “I was trying to find a way back to Camelot,” Merlin finally admitted. “I found a spell in a book that I thought might work. I think it kind of got away from me. And the next thing I knew, you were there and I don’t really know what happened in between.”

“That’s it,” Arthur said firmly. “No more spells to send us back to Camelot.”

“But, Arthur,” Merlin protested. “I thought you wanted to go back.”

“I do,” Arthur said. “Of course I do. But it’s not worth losing you.”

“I can do it, Arthur. I know I can. I just haven’t found the right spell yet.”

“Yes, and by the time you do, you’ll probably be dead.”

“Have some faith in me,” Merlin said, sounding hurt.

“Merlin, I have all the faith in the world in you,” Arthur said soothingly. “But I don’t want you exhausting yourself over this and hurting yourself somehow. I was terrified when I walked in the door today. I know you’re doing this for my sake. So please. Stop. For me. I’d rather stay here for the rest of my life than lose you and go back to Camelot alone.”

“Arthur…”

“No, Merlin. Promise me.”

Merlin studied Arthur carefully, seeing the genuine fear in Arthur’s eyes. “Okay,” he finally said softly. “I promise.”

\--

They never did get back to Camelot in that lifetime. But somehow that was okay. In the end, it didn’t matter that they weren’t in _their_ Camelot. They had a life in the twenty-first century. One where they could be happy together. After a while, the exact place and time they were in stopped mattering so much.

\--

Decades from the moment they fell into their future, Arthur and Merlin found themselves old and gray and living contentedly in a world they weren’t born into. Having never found a way back to their own time, Merlin was grateful to have defied the prophecy, in the least conventional way possible. Despite having the power to defy destiny, Merlin still couldn’t fight against the flow of time, aging as any ordinary man does.

Old age eventually claimed Merlin, coaxing him from the mortal world in his sleep. Arthur, having lost his anchor to the twenty-first century upon Merlin’s death, easily followed Merlin as if being tugged by the hand. And so the pair slipped out of the world they were never meant to belong to just as they slipped in – together.

\--

Arthur woke again to find himself sprawled on the floor, with Merlin’s familiar weight on top of him.

“Sire!” someone called.

Arthur froze. No one had called him that for decades. From his position on the ground, Arthur scrutinized the flagstones beneath his cheek. He’d walked on those same flagstones all his life. He’d know them anywhere. He was back in Camelot.

“Sire? Merlin?” came a voice from just above Arthur.

Arthur looked up past Merlin’s startled face to see Leon staring down at him. He felt a pang in his chest as he took in the at once familiar and foreign chainmail, struck by a sudden longing for the futuristic world he left behind.

Merlin quickly rolled off Arthur and stood up, dusting himself off shakily.

Leon offered Arthur’s a hand, asking in a hushed tone, “Are you feeling well, sire?”

“Fine,” Arthur whispered thickly, struggling to find his voice. Gratefully, Arthur took Leon’s hand, ignoring the flicker of surprise across Leon’s face, knowing that the him of Camelot would never have allowed himself to show weakness in public.

Arthur stood, quickly releasing Leon’s hand, brushing himself off and deliberately avoiding the council’s gaze.

“I think I shall retire for a bit. I’m feeling a bit unsteady from the fall,” Arthur said, lying through his teeth. Without waiting for a reply, he said awkwardly, “Attend me, Merlin,” and swept out from the council chambers , forcing himself not to look back to check if Merlin was following.

\--

The doors to the King’s chambers clicked shut behind them.

“Merlin!” Arthur yelled in a whisper. “What the hell happened? The last thing I remember is getting into bed with you. In the twenty-first century. As an old man!”

“I know!” Merlin shot back, feeling shaken to the core. “I remember all that too. And – “ Merlin faltered for a moment, gnawing on his lip indecisively before continuing even more quietly. “I remember dying. I remember leaving my body behind, but still feeling your hand in mine,” he whispered.

Arthur’s jaw dropped in shock, but he recovered quickly, expression softening as he reached out to rub Merlin’s arms soothingly. “I’m right here,” Arthur murmured. “We’re both right here. Are you all right?”

Merlin nodded mutely, shooting Arthur a tight smile. Arthur’s gaze was softened with years of affection as he met Merlin’s tired eyes and folded him into his arms, offering what little comfort he could. Arthur didn’t let go until the minute tremors that ran down Merlin’s spine became fewer and farther between before they stopped entirely.

After the trembling stopped, Merlin pushed Arthur away gently and gave him a tired smile. “You should go back,” he said. “A king shouldn’t just walk out of a council meeting.”

“I don’t want to leave you here alone,” Arthur protested, tightening his arms around Merlin to prevent him pulling away.

Merlin shook his head with a small smile. “It’s fine. We have to get used to being who we used to be eventually. Might as well start now.”

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Arthur asked, peering at Merlin worriedly. “You can come with me.”

“I’m fine, Arthur. Don’t worry. I should straighten up your chambers anyway.”

Arthur pursed his lips, looking slightly uncomfortable at the thought of Merlin playing the role of servant again.

Merlin laughed a little. “Just go! I pick up after you around the house all the time anyway. I know you still love me.”

Arthur gave him a quick peck on the nose. “Come find me later,” Arthur said before pulling away. He paused with his hand on the door, turning back to find Merlin staring after him. “I do, you know,” Arthur said softly.

Merlin blinked in confusion. “Do what?”

“Love you,” Arthur replied, quirking a smile. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Merlin’s face melted into an affectionate smile. “I won’t.”

\--

Arthur returned to the council chambers just as his councilors began filing out. The moment he appeared, everyone paused, looking to him expectantly for direction.

Arthur froze, completely blanking on how to properly address his council. “Shall we - ? Er, we shall reconvene tomorrow at the same time as today,” Arthur announced awkwardly, breathing a quiet sigh of relief when his councilors bowed their heads and left the council chambers.

Each councilors murmured, “I hope you are doing well, sire,” as they passed, dutifully waiting for a nod from Arthur before passing him to leave through the double doors.

Only Sir Leon, the last to leave, paused beside Arthur and asked, “How are you, sire?” in a way that Arthur believed to be genuine.

“I’m doing fine, Leon,” Arthur said politely, still trying to find his footing with court etiquette. Leon seemed satisfied with Arthur’s answer judging by the nod he gave Arthur. As Arthur turned to leave, Leon fell into step just behind him and followed up his previous question by asking, “And Merlin?”

Arthur’s step faltered briefly as he replied, “He’s fine as well.” For the first time, the chasm between his and Merlin’s status became apparent to Arthur. For the first time, Arthur saw the difference between them as an insurmountable gap, as the rest of the world did. Leon’s concern for Merlin’s well-being contrasted starkly with the rest of the castle’s lack of concern for a servant. Never before had he felt class differences as acutely as he did in that moment.

With a sinking feeling, he realized that he and Merlin couldn’t carry on as they had done in the future.

\--

That night, Arthur returned to his chambers and found Merlin curled up on a chair, leafing through one of the battle strategy books he found so boring.

“Hi,” Merlin said brightly when he spotted Arthur. He set down the book and came toward Arthur, eyes soft with affection. Merlin paused uncertainly when Arthur backed away, shaking his head minutely. “What’s wrong?”

“Merlin…” Arthur said, avoiding Merlin’s gaze.

“What is it, Arthur?” Merlin asked, concern etched in his voice.

“Perhaps we should spend the night apart,” Arthur blurted out.

Arthur could practically feel the hurt in the silence that followed. Before Arthur had a chance to try and soften the blow, Merlin spoke again. “Oh,” he said simply.

Arthur looked up to find Merlin giving him a wobbly smile, uncertainty swimming in his eyes. “It’s probably for the best. What would the castle say if they knew?” Merlin said, clearly trying to put a reason to Arthur’s statement.

Arthur nodded weakly.

“Shall I undress you, sire?” Merlin asked hesitantly.

Arthur didn’t bother to correct Merlin’s way of addressing him, biting his tongue ease the guilt he was feeling. “That won’t be necessary,” Arthur replied.

Merlin nodded slowly. “I’ll see you in the morning then, sire,” Merlin said as formally as he could manage. As he passed Arthur on his way out the door, he brushed his hand against Arthur’s briefly and murmured, “I still love you too, you know.”

The moment the door swung shut behind Merlin, Arthur’s legs gave out from under him. It took all the will power he had to stop himself from running after Merlin.

They were master and servant; this was the way it was supposed to be, Arthur told himself firmly as he crawled into bed.

He still tossed and turned half the night, searching for a warmth beside him that he wouldn’t find.

\--

Merlin arrived in Arthur’s chambers the next morning with his breakfast tray, nervous over how he would be treated, as a partner or as a manservant. Logically, Merlin knew what Arthur was doing, and even agreed with his course of action. But in his heart, he couldn’t shake the hurt that came with being held at arm’s length by a man he’d literally spent a lifetime with.

Merlin knocked before entering like any proper servant would. “Breakfast, sire?” he asked softly upon entering the room.

“Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said stiffly, his back to Merlin. “You can set it down on the table. There’s a list of chores for you on the table. I’ll see you before training. Don’t forget my sword and chainmail.”

“Yes, sire,” Merlin whispered, taking comfort from the tiniest break in Arthur’s voice at end of his orders. _Stupid, noble prat,_ Merlin sighed mentally.

\--

Arthur was having a hard time adjusting to being a king again.

Training was brutal with his deteriorated reflexes and decades worth of lack of practice. Making decisions like whether or not to get involved in a neighboring kingdom’s battle made him sweat with nerves. Worst of all was his constant nagging worry that the people of his kingdom didn’t care about him; that they only smiled to his face because he was the king and could have them all hanged on a whim.

Arthur was so out of practice in being a leader that he could hardly remember how to behave in the way he used to. He spent his days trying to relearn a role that used to be like breathing to him. People expected him to speak first, to tell them what to do, and to act like an entitled prat.

Arthur didn’t know if he could be that person again.

Of course the only person Arthur wanted to talk to about his inner conflict was the one person he wouldn’t let himself get too close to anymore.

\--

Merlin was struggling with being a servant again.

He had always been opinionated, preferring to speak out against a king rather than keep his mouth shut to avoid being sent to the stocks. But he had been able to restrain himself. Occasionally. After a lifetime as the heir to a multi-million dollar corporation, Merlin was convinced he forgot how to hold his tongue altogether. As a servant, he was meant to be seen but not heard. It was so easy to forget that his opinion wasn’t welcome in Camelot. Merlin found himself subject to glares and threats of flogging far more frequently than he was comfortable with. He strongly suspected that the only reason he hadn’t been dragged out and flogged already was because of his status as the King’s personal manservant.

Merlin had always been able to handle others’ opinions about his lack of courtly etiquette. What he missed the most were his father and Will. He would be forever grateful that he got an entirely lifetime with them, but he felt a bit lost without his loved ones in his life to anchor him. His only consolation was that his mother was alive and well in Camelot.

All Merlin wanted was to curl up at Arthur’s side, but all he could do was stare longingly at Arthur from across the room. The only thing that kept Merlin going was the knowledge that Arthur missed him just as much. Merlin caught Arthur’s wistful glances in his direction when he thought Merlin wasn’t looking. He lived for the occasional touches that didn’t come often enough but lasted a few seconds too long to be accidental. He knew he wasn’t far from Arthur’s thoughts, just as Arthur never left his. But he also knew that the distance was killing them both slowly even if neither of them would admit it.

\--

Arthur didn’t realize the strain in his life was so apparent until Gwen came up to him nearly a month after his return.

“Gwen,” Arthur said, trying to mask his surprise at seeing her with a smile. He realized with a start that this was the first time he’d seen her since returning to Camelot, and he hadn’t even noticed the difference.

“Arthur,” Gwen replied, not bothering to hide her surprise in hearing Arthur call her “Gwen” instead of her given name. “Have you and Merlin had a fight? I’ve never seen the two of you so distant.”

Arthur sputtered for a few moments, completely caught off guard at the question. “A fight? Of course not. We’re not acting any differently than usual.”

Gwen gave Arthur a worried look. “You’re so formal with each other. The last time you treated each other this way was… well, never.”

Arthur just gaped at Gwen.

Gwen peered at Arthur in concern. “Are you both feeling all right? Was it the fall a few weeks ago? Have you hit your head? Because the day before that I saw the two of you laughing and practically wrestling on the training field.”

Arthur was struck dumb, having never realized just how intimate his and Merlin’s relationship had been even before they traveled in time. “I – no, Gwen, we haven’t had a fight,” Arthur finally said. “Everything’s fine.”

Gwen nodded doubtfully. “If you say so, Arthur.”

After Gwen left, Arthur sat on his bed heavily, replaying his and Merlin’s interactions over the years and comparing them to the way they had been treating each other in the recent month. Gwen was right. He’d been an idiot in pushing Merlin so far away he might as well have been working for someone else.

As Arthur had been turning over his conclusion in his mind, his chamber’s doors opened again, admitting Merlin instead of Gwen.

Merlin smiled uncertainly. “Sire? Gaius wants me to collect some rare herbs for him that only bloom during the full moon. The location is a day’s ride away. He wanted me to check with you that you would manage without me.”

“Yes, of course it’s fine,” Arthur said distractedly, gazing at Merlin intently.

“He’d like me to leave right away,” Merlin added.

“If you must,” Arthur sighed. “But, Merlin, before you go,” Arthur began, getting up and starting toward Merlin.

“Sire?” came a voice from the open doorway.

“Yes?” Arthur asked through gritted teeth.

“There’s a messenger from border patrol waiting in the great hall. He requests an audience with you. He says it’s urgent,” the serving boy at the door said.

Arthur sighed. “Tell him I’ll be right there.”

“Yes, sire,” the serving boy replied before scurrying off.

“Merlin,” Arthur began again, more softly this time, as he reached for Merlin’s hand. Merlin gave Arthur a surprised look, darting a glance at the open door. Arthur just gripped his hand tighter. “I think we need to discuss our current approach on our relationship. There’s no time now, but when you get back…” Arthur trailed off.

Merlin’s eyes widened. He studied Arthur’s face intently, and his face melted into a small, hopeful smile. “Yes, sire,” he whispered, a warmth injected into the honorific that hadn’t been present for weeks, squeezing Arthur’s hand gently before leaving.

Arthur watched fondly until Merlin turned the corner, then hurried to the great hall to meet the messenger.

\--

“Sire!” the messenger cried the moment Arthur stepped through the door.

“Yes?”

“Bandits are attacking several of the outlying villages. Two have already been taken over and more are threatening to fall to their power. It is strongly believed that Mercia is involved in the attacks.”

Arthur didn’t even bother continuing to his throne. Instead, he turned to Leon and declared, “We ride for the border today. Gather some troops.”

“Yes, sire,” Leon said, hurrying out to organize the knights.

“Thank you,” Arthur said to the messenger. “Consider yourself welcome to help yourself to lodgings for the night. The steward will provide you with a room.”

“Thank you, sire,” the messenger said.

Arthur nodded before striding from the hall to rally his troops, his only regret that Merlin had already left the castle and he wouldn’t be able to speak with him until they both returned.

\--

Upon his return from several skirmishes, Arthur trudged up the stairs toward his chambers, feeling weary to the bone. He was desperate for a nice night in his own bed, futilely longing to curl around Merlin to get a good night’s sleep. After entering his chambers, he was too tired to even let the door slam behind him, choosing instead to slip in the door in the narrowest possible opening and letting it fall shut behind him with a soft click. Arthur let his sword clatter on to the table and began lifting his chainmail when he froze.

“Oh,” Arthur breathed, staring at the bed and the body currently occupying it. All he could see was a tuft of messy black hair peeking out from under the blankets on his pillow, but he’d recognize that black fluff anywhere. It was a struggle to lift the chainmail over his own head with minimal clinking, but Arthur managed to avoid waking Merlin. He quickly disrobed, carelessly tossing the remainder of his clothing on the ground and went closer to his bed where Merlin flailed a little in his sleep, knocking blankets aside and cuddling into his pillow.

Arthur smiled indulgently and brushed the hair off Merlin’s forehead, then gently tugged the blankets back up to cover Merlin’s shoulders. Arthur continued to stare as Merlin snuffled into the blanket, letting out tiny sighs as he shifted. It had been so long since Arthur had the opportunity to see Merlin in such a relaxed state, that he only just realized how tense Merlin had been in the month they’d been back.

With a pang of guilt, Arthur ran a finger down Merlin’s cheek, mentally berating himself for being a fool and pushing Merlin away when they both needed each other most.

Feeling the ache in his bones, Arthur hurried to the other side of the bed and slid in beside Merlin, pausing for a moment to gauge Merlin’s reaction. When it was clear that Merlin wasn’t going to flail at him in self-defense, Arthur shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Merlin’s waist and tugging his back flush against Arthur’s chest. Arthur had a brief moment to close his eyes, bury his nose in Merlin’s neck, and enjoy it before Merlin began to stir, squirming and rubbing against places that hadn’t been touched in the past month.

“Merlin,” Arthur half-moaned. “Go back to sleep.”

Merlin froze. “Arthur?” he whispered disbelievingly.

“Why are you surprised?” Arthur grumbled. “You’re in my bed.”

Arthur practically felt the heat from the flush that spread over Merlin’s neck. Immediately, Merlin started trying to pry Arthur’s arm off to get out of bed, but Arthur refused to budge.

“I told you to go to sleep,” Arthur complained, tightening his hold and tugging Merlin even closer.

“But – “

“Just go to sleep, Merlin,” Arthur murmured. Then more quietly, “Stay. Please.”

Merlin didn’t move for several moments before he melted back in Arthur’s embrace.

Arthur drew his hand up Merlin’s body to his neck, dragging down the sleeve of Merlin’s sleeping tunic to press a kiss to his exposed shoulder before pulling the blankets back up to cover them.

 

Merlin gave a contented sigh and turned his head to brush his nose against Arthur’s cheek before settling down to sleep.

“I didn’t forget, you know,” Merlin murmured after a while.

“Forget what?” Arthur asked sleepily.

“That you love me,” Merlin whispered almost inaudibly.

Arthur felt a lump rise in his throat. He slid his arm down to Merlin’s stomach and tightened his hold around Merlin as he said gruffly, “Good.”

Arthur could practically feel Merlin’s smile in the curl of his fingers around Arthur’s on Merlin’s stomach.

Arthur fell asleep with a smile on his face.

\--

Merlin woke to the sensation of fingers running through his hair. He grumbled and shook his head a little, trying to dislodge the unfamiliar sensation. When he heard a familiar chuckle, Merlin’s head snapped up, staring into Arthur’s eyes.

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered, afraid of speaking too loudly and destroying the illusion.

Arthur’s eyes softened. “It’s me,” Arthur replied, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“I-I’m sorry for just getting into your bed without permission, sire,” Merlin stammered. “I didn’t mean anything by it – “

“Didn’t you?” Arthur murmured as he pressed a kiss in Merlin’s hair. Merlin’s eyelids fluttered at the intimate gesture. “You’re always welcome in my bed, Merlin.”

“That’s not how you felt this past month,” Merlin said tentatively.

“I’ve been a prat,” Arthur said gruffly, voice muffled in Merlin’s hair.

A surprised laugh bubbled out of Merlin. “I see you’ve become more comfortable with that word.”

“What can I say, a lifetime with you changes a man,” Arthur said.

“A lifetime,” Merlin murmured, tucking his head under Arthur’s chin instinctively, the way he had done for the past fifty years. “Yet here we are.”

“Here we are,” Arthur echoed.

“It’s not the same, is it?”

“No,” Arthur admitted. “But then again, we’re not the same anymore either.”

“But this is still Camelot. _Your_ Camelot. It’s a different world, and we have different lives,” Merlin said with a sigh, making to pull away.

Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin. “Who’s to say that?” Arthur said harshly. “I’m the king, aren’t I? If I want you, then damn it, I’ll have you.” After a pause, Arthur finished uncertainly, “As long as you want me too.”

“Arthur,” Merlin murmured, sitting up in bed and pulling Arthur up with him. Merlin searched Arthur’s face, looking for any hint of doubt, finding nothing but hope. “I’ll always want you. But you have a kingdom to rule. I won’t get in the way of that.”

“You won’t,” Arthur promised. “I’ve had a lifetime with you, Merlin, and I don’t plan to stop loving you just because that life is over. I can’t go back to the man I once was. More importantly, I don’t want to go back to being the prat I used to be. We were happy in our other life. We can have that in this one too. We can have our golden age, Merlin.”

Merlin cupped Arthur’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together. “Our golden age,” Merlin vowed and pressed their lips together, beginning the cycle that would take them through this life and every one after.

They would have their golden age.

**Author's Note:**

> [LJ Masterpost](http://seravia.livejournal.com/24820.html)   
>  [Art Masterpost](http://whimsycatcher.livejournal.com/1210.html)


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